My NLP Tools and Learnings

Unmasking Imposter Syndrome

183:777945965 (Michal Guelfand) — Thu, 31 Oct 2024 18:03:22 GMT

All you need to know about Imposter Syndrome

Halloween invites us to put on masks and become someone else for a night. But what about the other masks we wear? The masks that aren’t about fun but about hiding our fears of inadequacy? Today, let's talk about a common yet rarely discussed phenomenon known as imposter syndrome. This psychological phenomenon, often disguised and deeply ingrained, can haunt even the most accomplished professionals, making them feel undeserving of their successes.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is characterized by persistent self-doubt and a fear of being exposed as a fraud, despite numerous achievements. The American Psychological Association states that people with imposter syndrome experience an “ongoing fear that they’re going to be ‘found out’ or unmasked as being incompetent or unable to replicate past successes.” It affects up to 80% of people at some point in their lives, with significant impacts on mental health and career progression. It is also more commonly reported among women and underrepresented minorities, who may feel additional pressure to prove themselves in competitive environments. The syndrome is particularly prevalent in high-pressure environments such as academia and the corporate world.

Experts identified five main subtypes of imposter syndrome:

1. The Perfectionist struggles with anything less than perfect.

2. The Superhero believes overworking is the key to success.

3. The Expert never feels knowledgeable enough.

4. The Natural Genius feels shame when effort is required.

5. The Soloist views asking for help as a weakness.

Each subtype interacts with our self-perception in ways that can lead to anxiety, overworking, and risk avoidance—all of which undermine our true capabilities.

In addition, a research by Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes found that early family dynamics and societal expectations play significant roles in the development of this phenomenon. Women often internalize a societal stereotype that devalues their competencies, further fueling their impostor feelings. Those experiencing this phenomenon often suffer from generalized anxiety, lack of self-confidence, depression, and frustration related to not meeting self-imposed standards of achievement.

Personal Reflection on Imposter Syndrome

In my past role as a Marketing Director in Tech, despite having an MBA and over 14 years of experience in various marketing management roles, I battled the inner critic of imposter syndrome. Tasked with overseeing marketing budgeting across four companies—a responsibility I had never managed before—I felt a crippling fear of being exposed for my lack of experience in this area. This led to significant stress and anxiety, as I was reluctant to show any uncertainty or seek help within the company, confiding only in my spouse. Ultimately, I delivered a comprehensive solution, but the journey was fraught with self-doubt and a fear of inadequacy.

Understanding the Hidden Triggers

In his article "All About Imposter Syndrome" Erin Michel indicates that Imposter syndrome is intricately complex due to its exploitation of inherent human biases that foster self-doubt and undermine self-confidence. It primarily involves three psychological biases:

Negativity Bias: This bias causes individuals to focus more on negative aspects of experiences than positive ones. For example, a person might fixate on a single piece of criticism amidst overwhelming praise, enhancing feelings of inadequacy and fraudulence.
Attribution Errors: Often, individuals attribute their own successes to external factors like luck, while attributing others' successes to innate talent or effort. This misattribution can reinforce feelings of being less competent or deserving than peers.
Confirmation Bias: This involves selectively noticing and remembering information that confirms one’s pre-existing beliefs. In the context of imposter syndrome, if someone believes they are not truly qualified, they will likely focus on any evidence that supports this belief, overlooking contrary evidence.

These biases contribute to the challenging nature of overcoming imposter syndrome by distorting one’s perception of reality and reinforcing deep-seated insecurities.

Breaking the Cycle: Strategies for Professionals

Here are some strategies I've learned both from personal experience and from my work as an NLP coach that can help manage feelings of imposter syndrome:

Acknowledge Your Feelings: Start by recognizing that what you’re feeling is a common psychological experience and not a reflection of your true capabilities.

Embrace Community and Peer Support: Sharing experiences can validate feelings and reduce the isolation imposter syndrome often brings. Don’t isolate yourself; share your thoughts with someone you trust within your organization. You’d be surprised how many people feel the same way and can offer support and guidance.

Document Your Achievements: Maintain a record of your successes and positive feedback. This can serve as a tangible reminder of your capabilities when doubts creep in.

Focus on Your Growth: Instead of fearing tasks outside your current expertise, view them as opportunities to learn and grow.

Seek Professional guidance as needed: If imposter syndrome is severely impacting your life, consider seeking help from a coach who can help you address this issue.

Strategies for Corporations

Corporations play a crucial role in mitigating the effects of imposter syndrome by fostering an inclusive and supportive work environment. Here are a few ideas:

Develop Mentorship Programs: Pairing less experienced employees with seasoned mentors can provide support and reduce feelings of isolation.

Promote a Culture of Open Communication: Encouraging employees to share their thoughts and feelings can help dispel the myths of imposter syndrome.

Implement Regular Training and Development: Workshops on self-esteem and competence can empower employees to recognize and challenge their imposter syndrome.

Unmask and lead with confidence

This Halloween, let’s challenge ourselves to confront and peel away the masks of imposter syndrome. By fostering an environment of support and understanding, both at a personal and corporate level, we can transform the haunting fears of inadequacy into a celebration of genuine talent and success.

�� Have a spooky, empowering, and truly transformative Halloween! ��

#Leadership #PersonalDevelopment #ImposterSyndrome #Authenticity #Halloween

About Michal (Michelle) Guelfand

Michelle Guelfand is the founder and CEO of myDesiredOutcome, offering results-oriented online NLP coaching, lectures & workshops to professionals in Silicon Valley, CA and across the US. With an MBA and over 14 years of experience navigating the demanding world of Tech along with parenting challenges, Michelle understands the unique pressures faced by high-achieving professionals. And now, with over 12 years of experience in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), hypnotherapy and positive psychology, Michelle has helped countless professionals unlock their potential and achieve breakthroughs in career, life, and well-being worldwide in a quick, and effective manner.

Professional that are either craving the confidence to apply for your next role ; feeling stuck, frustrated, or burnt-out despite their success, or longing for work-life balance and inner peace-

>>> Take back control, Lead your life and Schedule a free 20min call and I’ll be happy to see how I can be of help. https://calendly.com/mydesiredoutcome/20min

Managers wanting to empower their team-

>>> Schedule a time to discuss a tailored lecture or workshop for your organization.

www.myDesiredOutcome.com

Embracing Serenity for Wellbeing and Productivity in the Workspace

183:777945965 (Michal Guelfand) — Fri, 15 Mar 2024 00:07:18 GMT

Benefits and Practical tips

In the whirlwind of modern professional life, where deadlines loom large and emails never stop, the concept of serenity seems more like a distant dream than a tangible reality. Yet, this very serenity might just be the secret weapon for enhancing wellbeing and skyrocketing productivity. This guide ventures into the often-overlooked realms of inner peace and mindfulness, unraveling how they can transform not just our work but our lives.

The Underrated Value of Serenity in Professional Life

The professional sphere, with its emphasis on speed and efficiency, often sidelines the profound impact of mental and emotional equilibrium. Yet, it is this balance that forms the foundation of clear thinking, effective decision-making, and resilience in the face of stress. Serenity isn't just about quiet moments outside the hustle; it's about bringing a sense of calm into the storm itself, enhancing our capacity to navigate challenges with grace.

Mindfulness: The First Step Towards Serenity

Mindfulness, the practice of being fully present and engaged with the here and now, without judgment, is the cornerstone of achieving serenity. Whether it's through meditation, focused breathing exercises, or simply being mindful of one's thoughts and emotions, these practices can help anchor us in the present. Integrating mindfulness into our daily routine—be it through a five-minute breathing exercise before starting work or taking mindful breaks throughout the day—can significantly shift our perspective, enabling us to approach tasks with clarity and calmness.

Creating a Serene Workspace: Beyond Aesthetics

While a clutter-free desk and a calming environment can certainly contribute to a sense of peace, creating a serene workspace transcends physical aesthetics. It's about cultivating a space that supports mental and emotional wellbeing—whether through digital minimalism to reduce cognitive load or establishing rituals that signal the beginning and end of the workday. Such practices not only help in maintaining focus but also in preserving energy and fostering a sustainable work ethic.

The Ripple Effect of Serenity: Enhanced Interactions and Productivity

The tranquility of a serene mind does not stay confined to the individual; it extends outward, influencing interactions with colleagues and the overall workplace atmosphere. A calm demeanor fosters better communication, collaboration, and conflict resolution, contributing to a more harmonious and productive work environment. Moreover, serenity breeds creativity and innovation, as a peaceful mind is better equipped to think outside the box and generate novel solutions.

Implementing Serenity Practices: Practical Tips

1. Set Specific Times for Mindfulness Practices Allocate dedicated times for meditation or breathing exercises, treating them as non-negotiable parts of your day.
2. Utilize Apps for Meditation and Mindfulness Leverage technology to aid your practice, with apps offering guided meditations, mindfulness exercises, and reminders to take mindful breaks.
3. Create Personal Rituals Establish rituals that help transition into and out of work mode, such as a short walk, a tea ceremony, or a few minutes of reading something inspirational.
4. Embrace Digital Minimalism Regularly declutter your digital spaces, unsubscribe from unnecessary emails, and use technology intentionally to reduce distractions and mental clutter.

Conclusion: The Path Forward

As we navigate the complexities of modern professional life, the pursuit of serenity might seem daunting. Yet, it's in this pursuit that we find our path to true wellbeing and productivity. By prioritizing our mental and emotional health and integrating practices that foster inner peace, we not only enhance our own lives but also contribute to a more positive and productive work environment. Let us take steps, however small, towards embracing serenity, and witness its transformative power in our lives and work.

Questions to ponder on * What are some of your experiences and strategies for incorporating serenity into your professional life? * What practices have you found most effective? * How has fostering inner peace impacted your productivity and interactions at work? Feel free to share! With much Love & Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand, MBA NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner Holistic, Results-oriented Coaching, Lectures & Workshops www.myDesiredOutcome.com

A Salut to The Unsung Sheroes of Our Everyday Lives

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 08:15:54 GMT

On International Women's Day

With International Women's Day upon us, it's time to toast not just to the monumental strides made towards gender equality but to the personal triumphs and acts of courage that fill the everyday lives of women worldwide.

This year, a standout story has captured my heart—a narrative that beautifully encapsulates the spirit of this day.
It’s the journey of a client, a remarkable woman, who has been tirelessly working to forge a deeper, more meaningful connection with her pre-teen daughter.

This is what she texted me tonight:
"I had to use every skill and resource I've got this afternoon and here's the result. On my night stand after yoga tonight , (referring to the Love O'Meter photo above). Thanks Michelle. You make this possible!"

But it didn't start this way. Picture this: a mother and daughter, together, weathering the storms of adolescence—a period brimming with challenges, changes, and opportunities for growth. This story is a familiar one, echoing in the lives of many, yet it remains uniquely inspiring. This devoted mother, with each visit to my practice, brings a new focus, a new area of her life she's eager to enrich. Her latest endeavor? Cultivating a relationship with her daughter that's built on trust, understanding, and an abundance of love .

Why does this story resonate so deeply, you ask?
Because it goes to the heart of what International Women's Day stands for.
It's about recognizing the resilience and determination of women who make transformative choices every single day.
This mother's quest to nurture a healthy, loving relationship with her daughter showcases an incredible form of leadership that often goes unrecognized. She's not just raising a child; she's nurturing a future leader, a young woman who will navigate the world with confidence, empathy, and strength.

But there’s more to this story than meets the eye. It’s a vivid illustration of the domino effect that such acts of love and leadership can trigger. Through her dedication to understanding and patience, this mother is contributing to a future that looks brighter for all of us. She exemplifies that true leadership transcends the confines of the traditional arenas; it’s alive in the everyday choices we make, in the ways we connect and uplift those closest to us.

This International Women's Day, let's raise our glasses to the women like my client—women who lead with their hearts, who embrace life's challenges with grace, and who inspire a ripple effect of positive change around them. Their narratives are a potent reminder that each of us holds the power to make a difference, in our lives and in the wider world.

So here's to the unsung sheroes in our midst, to the victories won in quiet conversations, to the personal growth achieved away from the limelight. Let's celebrate the courage, the compassion, and the relentless drive of women everywhere.

Happy International Women's Day! ��

Let’s continue to make our mark, one heartfelt connection, one act of leadership at a time.

With much Love & Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand, MBA
NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner
Holistic, Results-oriented Coaching,
Lectures & Workshops

Make Your Dreams Come True Day

183:777945965 (Michal Guelfand) — Sat, 13 Jan 2024 07:41:54 GMT

Embrace Your Aspirations, Transform Your Life!

As we step into 2024, let's mark this year with the spirit of "Make Your Dreams Come True Day". It's time to pause, reflect, and ignite the flames of our deepest desires. Whether it's sculpting a fitter physique, nurturing richer relationships, mastering the confidence to chase that dream job, or embracing a healthier lifestyle - every dream is valid and achievable!

Recognize and Release

The journey to fulfilling our dreams begins with a candid acknowledgment of what's no longer serving us. It's about identifying the outdated patterns, unhelpful habits, or obsolete beliefs that have been holding us back. Real change starts with deciding to shed these layers and step into a new realm of possibilities.

Set Your Intentions, Plan Your Path

To assist you in this transformative journey, we invite you to download our Free Goal Setting Worksheet. This isn't just a tool; it's your roadmap to a future you've always envisioned. The worksheet is designed to help you:

Be Intentional: Clearly define what you want to achieve. When your goals resonate with your core values, they become powerful motivators.

Stay Focused: Distractions are plenty, but your focus will be your beacon. Keep your eyes on the prize.

Plan Effectively: Break down your dreams into achievable steps. A dream without a plan is just a wish.

Track Your Progress: Every small step counts. Keep track of your journey, and celebrate your milestones.

One Goal at a Time, Consistently

Dreams are realized one step at a time. Consistency is key. With each small victory, you'll find yourself closer to your ultimate goal. Remember, it's not about perfection; it's about progression.

Believe in the Power of You

The most crucial ingredient in this journey is your belief in yourself. With sufficient motivation and unwavering commitment, there's nothing you can't achieve. Let this year be the canvas on which you paint your dreams into reality.

2024 is your year. Embrace it, shape it, and watch your dreams unfold into beautiful realities. Download the worksheet, start planning, and step into your power today!

Remember, if you have enough motivation, you can make anything a reality.

Happy "Make Your Dreams Come True Day"! Let's make 2024 unforgettable!

Start off the year by downloading the Free 2024 Goal Setting Worksheet to -
Set your intent, make a plan, stay focused, and track your progress one dream at a time.

Looking forward to hearing your advances!

Cheers to a new beginning!

Michelle Guelfand, MBA
NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner
Holistic, Results-oriented Coaching
www.myDesiredOutcome.com

Give Thanks. Experience Blessings

Thu, 23 Nov 2023 21:35:57 GMT

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time of reflection, a moment to pause and appreciate the myriad of blessings that life bestows upon us .
As we gather around our festive tables, laden with the season’s bounty, it’s crucial to remember the simple yet profound joys that make our lives rich and fulfilling.

Downlead a Free guide to experience blessings through practicing gratitude.

Life itself is an incredible gift. Each day is a new opportunity to experience, learn, and grow. From the first breath of a newborn to the wisdom in the eyes of the elderly, life in all its phases is a marvel to cherish. It’s in the laughter of children, the support of friends, and the love shared with family. Life, with all its ups and downs, reminds us of our shared humanity and the strength we possess to overcome challenges.

Love is the invisible thread that binds us , transcending time and distance. It’s found in the smallest gestures - a warm embrace, a kind word, or a helping hand. Love is what makes tough times bearable and good times unforgettable. It’s the force that inspires us to be our best selves, to care deeply for others, and to spread kindness wherever we go.

Nature, in its infinite beauty, is a constant source of wonder and inspiration . The changing seasons remind us of life's cycles - of renewal, growth, and transformation. The vibrant autumn leaves, the serene snowscapes of winter, the blossoming of spring, and the sun-drenched days of summer - each season has its unique charm and lessons. Nature teaches us about resilience, the importance of taking care of our environment, and the simple pleasure of being in the moment.

This Thanksgiving, let’s take a moment to be genuinely grateful for all that we have . Let’s cherish the gift of life, the love that surrounds us, and the beauty of the natural world. Let’s spread kindness, offer support, and share our blessings with those less fortunate. In doing so, we not only make the world a better place but also enrich our own lives with a deeper sense of purpose and joy.

Downlead a Free guide to experience blessings through practice of gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving! Let’s make it a day filled with love, laughter, and gratitude. ��

With Much Love & Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand, MBA
NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner
Holistic, Results-oriented Coaching,

Lectures & Workshops
www.myDesiredOutcome.com

Time To Forgive

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 02:45:35 GMT

The Art of Forgiveness - A link to a Comprehensive Guide to letting go

Whom are you still holding a grudge against, or feeling hurt or resentment towards?

It took me years to let go of the grudge I was holding against people I believed had wronged me.

But to be angry or hurt is simply to punish yourself for something that someone else did.

Think of the wasted energy that you’ve been putting for days, weeks, or even years towards a friend, a colleague, a boss, or maybe your parents, siblings, Ex, spouse, or children.

Holding onto a grudge keeps you in a victimized mode, feeling that something has happened to you while you were left helpless.

Forgiving is taking ownership of the way you lead your life; it’s a conscious decision you choose to gift yourself.

Forgiveness is really a gift that you give to yourself.

July 7, is Global Forgiveness Day.

A day dedicated to embracing the transformative power of forgiveness worldwide.
Today is an opportunity for healing wounds, letting go of grudges, and fostering compassion.

In a world where conflicts, misunderstandings, and hurtful actions persist, forgiveness becomes an essential tool for building bridges and fostering harmony. It is not about condoning or forgetting the wrongs committed, but rather about finding the strength within ourselves to release the burdens of anger and resentment.

Click here to get a comprehensive guide to The Art of Forgiveness .

The benefits of forgiveness are immense!

It’s good for your body, mind, and soul.

On the physical level, once you forgive –

- your blood pressure may go down

- you will experience less anxiety, signs of depression and less stress

- your immune system will become stronger

- You can improve your heart health

On the emotional level -

- You will improve your self-esteem, feeling that you control your emotions instead of being controlled by them

- You will improve your relationships either by letting go of the old ones and moving on, or by coming clean to an existing relationship

On the Mental level

- You will have more mental capacity to focus on the things that are important to you and will be able to achieve your goals with more ease

It's time to put the past in the past and forgive those who have wronged you - even yourself if you need to.

Forgiveness is not only a personal journey. It is also a collective one.
By forgiving and seeking forgiveness, we contribute to the creation of a more compassionate and understanding world.
It is a powerful act that can break the cycles of hatred and revenge, and pave the way for reconciliation, understanding, and growth.

Are you ready to let go?

Get the guide to the Art of Forgiveness .

I'm here for you if you need a more personalized, in-depth coaching.

With Much Love & Gratitude

Michelle Guelfand, MBA

NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner

Holistic, Results-oriented NLP Coaching,
Lectures & Workshops
www.myDesiredOutcome.com

Embracing Independence

Tue, 04 Jul 2023 00:47:10 GMT

Unleashing Your Inner Power for Fulfillment and Success

On this Independence Day, I wanted to take a moment to stress the importance of our personal independence on multiple levels, mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual.

Independence is a powerful concept that extends beyond freedom from external constraints. It encompasses cultivating a sense of control, self-efficacy, and aligning our lives with our true passions.

Thinking of personal independence is an opportunity for personal growth and transformation that I believe will resonate with you on a profound level. As a holistic, results-oriented NLP coach, I am passionate about helping individuals like yourself embrace their independence, unlock their inner power, and create a life that is truly fulfilling.

You possess incredible potential and a unique set of talents and dreams that are waiting to be unleashed. However, in today's fast-paced world, many of us feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or uncertain about the path that lies ahead.

Here are some key aspects we can work on together:

1. The Power of Mental Independence : Imagine breaking free from self-doubt and limiting beliefs that have held you back for far too long. Picture yourself cultivating a positive mindset, believing wholeheartedly in your abilities, and fearlessly manifesting your goals and dreams. Together, we can make this vision a reality.

2. Nurturing Emotional Independence : Emotional well-being plays a vital role in leading a balanced and fulfilling life. Together, we will explore your emotions, develop emotional intelligence, and create strategies for resilience and authentic connections with others.

3. Honoring Physical Independence : Your body is an incredible vessel that deserves care and attention. Prioritizing self-care, embracing an active lifestyle, and developing a profound connection with your body is key to unlocking vitality and well-being.
I will be there to remind you to honor your body and to connect with it in the most profound way.

4. Independence Aligned with Purpose : Discovering your life's purpose and aligning your actions with it is essential for a meaningful and fulfilling life. I will assist you in clarifying your core values, uncovering your purpose, and crafting a roadmap to success that resonates with your true self.

If you're ready to embark on a transformative journey of personal growth, I would be honored to work with you.
As your holistic NLP coach, I will provide personalized techniques, support, and accountability to help you overcome barriers and unlock your inner power.

Click on the link above to schedule a complimentary consultation to explore how I can specifically support you on this empowering path. Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions or thoughts you may have. I am here to listen, support, and guide you towards the life you've always envisioned.

Here's to embracing your independence, unleashing your inner power, and creating a life that is authentically yours!

Wishing you a joyous and empowering day ahead.

Michelle Guelfand, MBA

I'm on Fire! The Courage to Leap!

183:777945965 (Michal Guelfand) — Thu, 16 Feb 2023 16:00:00 GMT

Trust your wisdom. Take action!

A little over six years ago I was feeling a bit lost.

It was over two years after my husband and three children moved to the U.S. from the other side of the globe, and after attending fully to my children and our new home I didn't know how to act next.

I could see how the kids are flourishing in their new environment, and that was reassuring. Being a mom is a life-long journey and probably the most important one I could have. I am blessed that I was and still am able to be there for my children.

Yet, other parts of me were searching for meaning.

Prior to our move to California, I found a new and exciting path. After 14 years in the high-tech industry, I had a calling and started my mind-body-soul journey as a holistic, results-oriented NLP* coach, speaker, and teacher, advancing to become an NLP Trainer. (*NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming)

Fortunately, I was blessed to have the tools to personally adjust to my new changing environment, but professionally I felt that I'm losing my confidence.

Being an immigrant, I didn't feel my English was good enough to coach others yet. As we speak Hebrew at home, I realized I used English even less than when I was in Israel (crazy, right?), and I didn't know where to begin.

At 42, I felt as if I'm starting things all over again.

Zig Zagler said: "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great".

So I enrolled in a Positive Psychology class at UC Berkeley. With intensive requirements for reading, writing, and speaking, and graduating with honors I started regaining back my confidence in English. After all, I did graduate a B.A. degree in Linguistics (English) with honors, and was a marketing manager in the high-tech industry for 14 years and used English a lot.

I then signed up for a Tony Robbins' Unleash the Power Within" seminar. As an NLP Trainer, I found myself analyzing what Tony was doing as he utilizes NLP techniques throughout his teachings. At some point, I had to commend myself to stop activating my high beta waves of analysis and allow myself to be in alpha wave mode so that his hypnosis of fearlessly walking over burning coals would take effect.

Walking on fire is dealing with a primate fear everyone has. To that, I could add a very low-risk tolerance approach that was part of my upbringing.

I already believed in NLP. I knew it works, and I saw others do that and survive to tell, so I knew it was possible.
But would it be possible for me too?

Now what I needed is to trust myself, demonstrate courage and go for it!

And it worked!! It worked so well that I didn't even have any marks, burns, or bruises on my feet, and it reinforced my trust in the mind-body connection even further.

Overcoming my fear of walking on burning coals was really creating the momentum of dealing with other fears of not being good enough that paralyzed me.

The following day while still at the seminar, I was pumped up with a boost of confidence. I still didn't know how to initiate my first step professionally in the U.S. though, but after walking on burning coals I felt so empowered that I could do almost anything!!

Over lunch, I had a very heartful conversation with another participant.
With great passion, enthusiasm, self-trust, and confidence I talked passionately about the amazing results NLP can help individuals achieve in any life area. She was an American lady, living in Palo Alto, CA (a 45-minute drive from where I live).
She was intrigued and asked how she could sign up! I gave her my business card (which I printed only a few days earlier for the first time) and invited her over for a coaching session. She called the following week to schedule a time to come over.

Normally taking a 4-day seminar isn't enough to transform all of our habits. So I could hear my inner voice start to chatter about my competence in leading a coaching session after 2.5 years. Feeling pumped up is a state that I could have easily recalled from the FIRE WALK, I reminded myself that I know what I needed to do. I already had professional experience, and by that time I'm also competent with my English, AND all I need to do is just to prepare for a single meeting. That's it. That reduced the overwhelm of dealing with too many things at the time.

That woman was my first paying client, and for me, it was a breakthrough moment in my belief in my competency and ability to serve English-speaking clients. Once I trusted myself and opened the door to experience, I was more open to accepting new opportunities. And with time, as I was opening up my energy to the field out there, I started to help more and more people to heal from within, trust themselves and reach their desired outcome in a holistic way.

Since then I:

* Conducted a 2-day workshop on Healing and Rising

* Gave over 20 lectures in English and in Hebrew

* Was interviewed in podcasts

* Presented at online conferences and organizations

* Participated in dozens of professional lectures, seminars, and workshops

* Wrote a chapter in a book to be launched on Dec. 1st, 2022!! and

* Have conducted hundreds of one-on-one (now online) sessions of holistic, results-oriented coaching, helping women to regain self-trust, eliminate self-sabotage and limiting beliefs, improve relations with self and others, overcome phobias and allergies, lose weight, speak with confidence on a large stage, get pregnant (!!), regain health and well-being as they eliminate various chronic physical ailments, and more!
* By now, I am also an American citizen, have been in California for over 8 years, and feel at home here.

Life is a journey. I sometimes think I'm not doing enough, or not at the pace that I believe I can, but then I allow myself to be compassionate about myself, look back and see the journey that I've already taken, and be empowered to keep on walking.

My learnings:

1. You are more competent than you think you are.

2. Be compassionate with yourself and the journey you are taking.

3. Keep learning - That will give you meaning, and increase your self-trust and confidence.

4. Recall your successes . It will remind you how competent you are.

5. Engage in something you Love . This will ignite your passion and will magnetize others to you.

6. Trust the process. It will always lead you to growth.

I hope my story has inspired you to believe in yourself and follow your passion!

What would be one small step that you agree to own and take to start creating that momentum within you?

And if you need any help to begin, schedule your free 20min discovery call and I'll be happy to see how I can help you take that leap into believing in yourself!

With much Love and Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand, MBA
NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner,
Guided Imagery & Positive Psychology

Holistic, Results-Oriented Coaching,
Lectures & Workshops
www.myDesiredOutcome.com

7 Simple Ideas for Self-Love

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 05:47:00 GMT

A Valentine's Day reminder for Self-Love & Self-Empowerment

Valentine's Day is a special time of year that is traditionally associated with romance and affection.
However, it's important to remember that self-love and self-empowerment should be at the heart of this holiday.

In a world where we're constantly bombarded with messages about what we should look like, how we should act, and who we should be, many of us struggle with self-love and self-empowerment. We compare ourselves to others, focus on our flaws and limitations, and often neglect our own needs and desires. Unfortunately, it's easy to forget the importance of valuing ourselves
and embracing our individuality.

Self-love and self-empowerment are crucial for our overall well-being and happiness .
When we love ourselves and believe in our own capabilities, we are able to approach life with confidence and positivity.
This not only benefits us, but also those around us.

Self-love is about accepting and appreciating who we are, just as we are. It's about being kind to ourselves, setting boundaries, and taking care of our physical, emotional, and mental health. When we practice self-love, we build a foundation of self-esteem and confidence that helps us navigate the ups and downs of life with grace and resilience.

Self-empowerment is about taking control of our lives and making choices that align with our values and goals. It's about recognizing that we have the power to shape our own future and that we don't have to settle for anything less than what we deserve. When we're empowered, we feel more confident and capable, and we're better able to pursue our dreams and aspirations.

It's never too late to start practicing self-love and self-empowerment, and what better day to start than on Valentine's Day?

Here are some ways to practice self-love and self-empowerment this Valentine's Day:

1. Focus on self-care : Take the time to do something special for yourself, whether it's a bubble bath, a massage, or a night in with a good book. Make sure to do something that makes you feel good and celebrates your worth.

2. Practice gratitude: Write down three things you're grateful for each day and focus on the positives in your life.

3. Write a love letter to yourself: Reflect on all the things you love about yourself, your accomplishments, and your strengths.
This is a great way to build self-esteem and remind yourself of how amazing you are.

4. Celebrate your achievements: Make a list of all your achievements, no matter how small, and take time to acknowledge and celebrate them.

5. Surround yourself with positive people: Spend time with people who support and encourage you, and avoid those who bring you down.

6. Embrace your uniqueness: Celebrate the things that make you unique and special, and don't try to fit into someone else's mold.

7. Set achievable goals: Take some time to think about what you want to achieve in the coming year and make a plan to get there. Remember that you are in control of your own life and that you have the power to make your dreams a reality.

Valentine's Day is a great opportunity to celebrate love in all its forms, including self-love and self-empowerment.
Embracing these values can help you build a strong foundation of self-esteem and confidence and empower you to pursue your dreams and aspirations with grace and resilience. By focusing on self-care, practicing gratitude, celebrating achievements, embracing your uniqueness and setting up meaningful goals for yourself, you can boost your self-confidence and improve your overall well-being.

So this Valentine's Day, take the time to celebrate the amazing person you are, and make it a day to remember!

What would be something you commit to doing in this direction?

I would love to hear from you!

With much Love & Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand, MBA

NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner

Holistic, Results-oriented Coaching

Lectures & Workshops

www.myDesiredOutcome.com

Stuck in Groundhog Day?

183:777945965 (Michal Guelfand) — Fri, 03 Feb 2023 06:29:37 GMT

Stuck in "Groundhog Day"?

Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a never-ending loop, where each day feels the same and you can't seem to make progress?

If so, you might be experiencing what's commonly referred to as "Groundhog Day syndrome," a phenomenon inspired by the classic movie "Groundhog Day." In the movie, the main character, Phil Connors, lives the same day over and over again, on 2/2 on "Groundhog Day". This can be a frustrating and disheartening experience, especially when it feels like you're not making any progress in your personal or professional life.

Here are a few tips to help you break out of the "Groundhog Day" cycle:

1. Identify the root cause: Try to figure out what's making you feel stuck and what's causing you to repeat the same patterns. This could be a fear of change, lack of direction, or negative self-talk. Once you've identified the root cause, you can start to work on addressing it.

2. Set achievable goals: Having specific, achievable goals can help you break out of the cycle by giving you something to work towards. Start small and gradually increase the difficulty of your goals as you progress.

3. Try new things: Stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying new experiences can help you gain new perspectives and broaden your horizons. This can help you break free from the routine and feel more fulfilled.

4. Surround yourself with positivity: Surrounding yourself with supportive, positive people can help you maintain a positive outlook and keep you motivated to make changes.

5. Seek help: If you're feeling overwhelmed or struggling to make changes on your own, consider seeking the professional help of a coach. S/he can provide you with new tools and strategies to help you break free from the cycle.

Breaking free from a "Groundhog Day" cycle can take effort and persistence, but with the right mindset and tools, it can be done. Remember to take things one step at a time and to be kind to yourself as you work towards a brighter future.

And if you need professional help, I’m here for you.
Schedule your FREE 20min call , or send me an email at connect@myDesiredOutcome.com

With much Love & Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand, MBA

NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner

Holistic, Results-oriented Coaching

www.myDesiredOutcome.com

Healing & Growth Book Launch ! 12/01/2022

Tue, 22 Nov 2022 03:10:30 GMT

Inspiring Stories for Massive Transformation

“ Leaderships is not about titles, positions or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another .”

John C. Maxwell

I am honored to be one of the co-authors of " Healing and Growth: Inspiring Stories for Massive Transformation ", a new anthology curated by Regeline “Gig” Sabbat, to be released on December 1, 2022

Regeline “Gigi” Sabbat is an award-winning author, motivational keynote speaker, host of “Walk with Me" Podcast, and the CEO & founder Life Services of America . The book grew out of inspiring speeches from speakers at the various survivor support and leadership events that Gigi has organized. Michal (Michelle) Guelfand was invited to be a speaker at The Leadership Conference held on May 15, 2021.

Many people experience challenges in their lives that make them feel stuck. By reading inspiring, true stories, “Healing & Growth” helps individuals overcome these blocks and achieve personal development in all areas of their lives.

In the chapter entitled “ Lead with the Power of Words ”, Michelle Guelfand reframes the notion of leadership to one of self-leadership and leading by example. By doing so, you become an inspiration and influence others to do the same. By the end of this chapter, you will have practical tools for shifting self-sabotaging and limiting beliefs about yourself so you can lead your life to the next chapter!

I hope you will be inspired by this book and gain healing and growth.

Pre-order the book :

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BJL4JCHF

Join the Virtual Book Launch :

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/419486233617

Schedule your free 20min call and I’ll be happy to see how I can help you lead your life to the next level!

With much Love & Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand, MBA

NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner

Holistic, Results-oriented Coaching,

Lectures & Workshops

My Desired Outcome

www.myDesiredOutcome.com

How Breathing Shapes Our Brain

Thu, 10 Nov 2022 21:22:10 GMT

There is more to breathing than you think

We all want to feel healthy and happy (among other things), don't we?

Want to know a simple way to take back control and be in charge of your emotions, attention, and perception of the world?
This relates to something all of us do, automatically and naturally. Our breath!

But in order to make a change, we must be aware and mindful of how we breathe: Is our breath stressful and shallow?
or is it a full, relaxed one?

There are so many positive, contributing attributes of mindful breathing to our relaxation, our sense of calm, better immune system efficiency, a general sense of well-being, and more.

In addition to that, a new study by Professor Micah Allen from the Department of Clinical Medicine at Aarhus University suggests that "brain and breathing are closely intertwined in a way that goes far beyond survival, to actually impact our emotions, our attention, and how we process the outside world. Our model suggests there is a common mechanism in the brain which links the rhythm of breathing to these events.”

Give Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness

Thu, 07 Jul 2022 05:42:54 GMT

Let go and be free

Today, July 7 is Global Forgiveness Day, a day to put the past in the past and forgive those who have wronged you - even yourself if you need to.

Think of the wasted energy that you’ve been putting for days, weeks, or even years towards a friend, a colleague, a boss, or maybe your parents, siblings, Ex, spouse, or children.

It took me years to let go of the grudge I was holding against people I believed had wronged me.

The key to a true understanding of forgiveness is realizing that forgiveness is really a gift that you give to yourself - not to someone else!

After you let go of the anger, pain, hurt, and forgive - you feel liberated; the burden of locked energy is released, and you have more energy to focus on what you really want in your life.

Click here to get a free step-by-step self-guide to forgiveness and freedom.

Feel free to reach out for personal, online holistic coaching for more in-depth guidance.

With Love and Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand, MBA
NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner
Holistic, results-oriented Coaching
www.myDesiredOutcome.com

Celebrating Women’s friendship on International Women’s Day

Thu, 17 Mar 2022 03:40:29 GMT

Cheers to Life in a Girls' Getaway

I was checking off some administrative items on my to-do list last week when my friend called and asked how spontaneous I was.
I was busy but intrigued to do something out of the ordinary.

“What do you have in mind?” I asked, thinking that she may want us to go for a cup of coffee or something.
“How ‘bout going on a one-night Getaway next week with some of our other girlfriends?” She replied.

There are so many things to talk about regarding women these days and especially this month of International Women’s Day.
We can talk about inequality that still exists in life and work; we can talk about the success and admiration of motivated women and so much more. This post is about celebrating female friendship and taking time to rejuvenate the soul.

Read on to get links to a great Getaway as well as tips from my learning and suggestion for building connections.

My friend’s response caught me by surprise! As I was checking my calendar, I felt the excitement of doing something different tingling inside of me. With COVID-19 restrictions and safety measures that my family has been practicing, I started feeling the effects of being home-bound for almost two years. On top of that a girls’ Getaway is something I’ve never done before, and with COVID cases subsiding, it was an opportunity I couldn’t say no to ��

All of a sudden, I felt vibrant and excited!

Once we chose a day and gave it a go, one of my girlfriends took the lead and suggested two possible hotels that she thought of. We were all very eager to go and thought it didn’t really matter which hotel it would be as long as we were together experiencing a girls’ bonding and having an outlet from our day-to-day life.

A few days later, on International Women’s Day on March 8th, there were the five of us in the car driving to Calistoga in Napa Valley, CA. It was only an hour and a half away from home but felt like flying abroad.

Before we took off, one of my friends’ husbands wondered what we could talk about for a day and a half. It was clear to us all that we could find tons of things to talk about. We were happy and cheerful. Knowing each other for quite some time, we allowed ourselves to share some of our happy moments as well as our challenging moments, knowing we could count on one another as we’re nurturing our relationship.

Here is our Girls’ Getaway Prescription:

* We drove from Livermore, CA and stopped at Gott’s Roadside at St. Helena for lunch.

* We arrived at Dr. Wilkinson’s House of Better hotel in Calistoga. It was practically empty, and there were three warm spring water pools. With the five of us ages 48-52, we could all get into our bathing suits and not worry about how we looked. If you go you can also book massages and more.

* The weather was warm as we strolled down to Lovina restaurant and celebrated two of our friends’ upcoming birthdays.

* At night, we had a PJ party in one of our hotel rooms, and a friend opened Tarot Cards for us.

* We woke up at ease in the morning, not needing to care for anyone.

* We then strolled to Sam’s Social Club in Indian Springs Calistoga for a great brunch.

* We then drove to Castillo di Amorosa , a medieval-style Tuscan castle winery for wine tasting tour. Make sure to make a reservation.

* We ate at R+D Kitchen in Yountville on our way back home the following evening.

(Keep scrolling under this photo for some learnings and tips)

My Learnings:

1. Women tend to care and do so much, whether at work, at home, and with their families.
Give yourself some time off to simply rest and rejuvenate.

2 . We tend to wait for special occasions, but any day on the calendar could be a good day for some time off.
Take a decision and just do it.

3. There’s no need to go far. Any place that may be new to us can be exciting, even one that is in our backyard that we haven’t visited yet. So a walk with a friend in her neighborhood could be exciting just as much.

4 . Women’s friendship has mental, emotional as well as physical health benefits. Studies show that social connection in general, as well as female friendship, increases longevity and happiness.
Another research from the University of Oxford, England suggests that meeting up with friends twice a week is good for your health.

I’m not saying you should do that twice a week, but you get the idea. Make sure you have at least one or two friends that you can call or meet in person every once in a while.

5 . It takes time and consistency to build relations and gain trust . Some friendships are long-term starting from the school days, college days, volunteer work, any mutual hobby, and more.

If you find that you don’t have like-minded friends where you are, you may want to check a MeetUp group and find subjects that may be interesting for you. Other options are joining sports groups like hiking, biking, tennis, volleyball and more, in your community. And then there’s this fairly new Revel free membership club that connects women around the age of 50 online and in-person that could be a nice place to grow friendships.

6. Getting excited is a choice. When we don’t take things for granted, anything can be exciting. All it takes is to have the intent to open up to experiencing life in the present moment. We can get excited from going outside of our home and simply be mindful of what is around us and be grateful for what already exists in our life.

7. If you are a man (or a woman) in a relationship with a partner, support them to take some time off with their friends.
They will be thankful for your support and have more energy to compliment you back.

There are so many more learnings and basically, these learnings and ideas can be applied to all humans, not just women.

Feel free to share how you celebrate you.

Here's to life!

With much Love and Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand
Holistic, Results-oriented Coaching, Lectures & Workshops

When I started Loving Myself

Tue, 15 Feb 2022 01:17:19 GMT

A Valentine's Day reminder to love yourself

Hello loved ones,

On this Valentine's day, I would like to share this beautiful poem*

When I started loving myself

I understood that I’m always and at any given opportunity

in the right place at the right time.

And I understood that all that happens is right –

from then on I could be calm.

Today I know: It’s called ��.

When I started loving myself

I understood how much it can offend somebody

When I tried to force my desires on this person,

even though I knew the time is not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me.

Today I know: It’s called ��

When I started loving myself

I could recognize that emotional pain and grief

are just warnings for me to not live against my own truth.

Today I know: It’s called �� .

When I started loving myself

I stopped longing for another life

and could see that everything around me was a request to grow.

Today I know: It’s called ��.

When I started loving myself

I stopped depriving myself of my free time

and stopped sketching further magnificent projects for the future.

Today I only do what’s fun and joy for me,

what I love and what makes my heart laugh,

in my own way and in my tempo.

Today I know: it’s called ��.

When I started loving myself

I escaped from all that wasn’t healthy for me,

from dishes, people, things, situations

and from everything pulling me down and away from myself.

In the beginning, I called it the “healthy egoism”,

but today I know: it’s called ��-��.

When I started loving myself

I stopped wanting to be always right

thus I’ve been less wrong.

Today I’ve recognized: it’s called ��.

When I started loving myself

I refused to live further in the past

and worry about my future.

Now I live only at this moment where EVERYTHING takes place,

like this I live every day and I call it ��.

When I started loving myself

I recognized, that my thinking

can make me miserable and sick.

When I requested for my heart forces,

my mind got an important partner.

Today I call this connection �� .

We do not need to fear further discussions,

conflicts and problems with ourselves and others

since even stars sometimes bang on each other

and create new worlds.

Today I know: �� !

*This poem is claimed over the web as one that was written by Charlie Chaplin, "When I started loving myself” written on his 70th birthday on April 16, 1959. A caring reader of my blog, Patricia LaHay, brought to my attention that this was debunked by Snopes , claiming that this poem is an English translation of a Portuguese translation of an English language book written by Kim and Alison McMillen in 2001 entitled “ When I Loved Myself Enough .”

No matter the source, this poem is a great reminder for self-love.

May we all love ourselves so we can love others too ❤

Much Love and Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand

Holistic, results-oriented coaching

Make a Change in 2022!

Fri, 14 Jan 2022 03:55:06 GMT

Are you Ready to make a change in 2022?

2022 is here !!!

Are you feeling stuck in an unhealthy situation?
- Frustrated with your job?
- Discouraged by the quality of your relationships with your spouse or your kids?
- Unsatisfied with your weight; or just feeling
- Helpless due to world events?

I’m sure you have at one point or another in your life. I know I have in all of the above.

Maybe you've already wished and prayed for things to change, but kept finding yourself in the same place over and over again.
Does that sound familiar?

One of the reasons we feel stuck in these situations is because we're focusing on what we don't want in our life instead of what we do want in our life.

Robin Sharma said: " What you focus on grows; what you think about expands "
So why not focus on what you do want?

This could be any life area, whether in health and fitness, relations, or any other personal or professional related issue.

But nothing will change until you take ownership of your life and give yourself the chance to lead your life to a better place .

So, my question to you is: A re you ready to make this new year a better one for you?

Here are my tips to help you start getting there:

1. Set your intent and focus on your desired outcome.

2. See yourself in the future after you've achieved your goal.

Notice how you look, what you hear, how you feel after the change has already been implemented.

3. Find your why.
Why is it important to you? This is so important and will give you the fuel and motivation to keep going forward.

4. Make a realistic plan .

5. Start acting upon it!

Jim Rohn said: “ S uccess is nothing more than a few simple disciplines practiced every day ”, and that could be any life area.

But if you find it hard to do it on your own, I’ll be honored to help you get there.

Hi, my name is Michelle Guelfand. I'm the founder and CEO of my Desired Outcome Academy, and I help individuals like you,
--> Take back control
--> Believe in themselves
--> Become more resourceful,
--> Overcome unconscious mental and emotional barriers
until they reach their Desired Outcome in a holistic manner that is aligned with their values and other aspects of their life.

I specialize in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Guided Imagery, and Positive Psychology and offer holistic, results-oriented online coaching.

So if you finally want to achieve your goals in 2022, download my free worksheet to start your journey,
and schedule your free 20-min call with me.

I'll be happy to guide you there!

I'm looking forward to meeting you soon.

With much Love and Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand
Holistic, results-oriented Coaching

Wishing you a Happy 2022!

Mon, 27 Dec 2021 08:25:47 GMT

2021 is almost over. Welcome 2022!

Hi Love ones,

In my previous blog post I talked about: The Secret to Happiness , and that a state of Gratitude is the fastest route to achieving it.

2021 is almost over.
The pandemic is still around and we learn how to navigate, adjust, adapt and cope with creativity, compassion, and resilience.
Some of us are, including myself, still find it challenging in some ways, and in others, things are actually better.

As I mentioned in my post Bye bye 2020, welcome 2021! despite the fact that I thought I'm not doing enough, in retrospect I've learned that I did do things only differently, and actually had the opportunity to do things that I haven't considered doing before, like giving a presentation in an online conference or coaching online.

I also reminded myself to be more compassionate to myself for the plans that I had and didn't act upon. I had other important things to deal with that I prioritized, and that's ok.

Travel is more restricted and creates more challenges. Some of us have not seen relatives that are globally dispersed in a long time, and that may not be easy. I only met my aging parents in-person once in almost two years.

This pandemic is another reminder of the human spirit that is stronger than anything. I am sure that you have found creative ways to adapt and maybe even thrive in the new situation.

Let's welcome 2022 that is just around the corner.

I invite you to:
1. Cherish the moment. Life is too short for letting it pass with no meaning.
2. Fill your heart with hope, love, and joy from the abundance that's around you.
3. Embrace your gifts and shine your light from the inside out.
4. Focus on the things that are important to you.
5. Set an intent for your desired outcome; one that you have control over. Focus on it, and take some small daily actions and make your dreams come true.

Stay safe, and best wishes for new beginnings!

Much Love & Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand

MBA, NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner

Holistic, Results-Oriented Coaching

www.myDesiredOutcome.com

The Secret to Happiness is Gratitude

Thu, 25 Nov 2021 03:14:07 GMT

Choose to be Grateful!

For those of you who prefer to view and listen to the following message, instead of reading, Above is a link to a Facebook Live I did about this topic.

In my previous blog post I talked about The importance of Unconditional Love .

In this blog post I would like to talk about the fastest way to achieve Happiness :-)

There are many reasons for people to feel unhappy and frustrated with their life.

In western societies many think that their problems would be resolved, and they’ll be happy, if they only had more money for example. But studies show that people are getting used to material rewards very quickly, and that goals keep getting pushed upward as soon as a lower level is reached. It is not the actual value of money that satisfies us but the perception that we have in comparison to what we’re already achieved. People also evaluate their wealth not in terms of living in comfort, but in comparison with those who have the most, and become unhappy as a result.

Now, don’t get me wrong, money is important in life. It allows us to live comfortably, invest in things that are important to us, and also give back to the world and help those that need it. But money, in and of itself, will not make us happy.

So what will make us happy?

There are various factors that can make us feel happy, like having satisfying relationships, and being engaged in meaningful activities. But mostly, happiness is a mental state of consciousness that we can choose to live by.

Eckhart Tolle said: “ Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance ”.

So one of the most quick and powerful ways to experience happiness is through the practice of Gratitude .

Gratitude is the focus and attention on what we already have in our life, and not taking things for granted. Starting with being grateful for the magnificent body that our soul lives in. From the moment we open our eyes in the morning, the breath that we take, the heart that keeps beating, and appreciating every organ in our body that functions miraculously.

We can be grateful for the roof over our head, the food on our table, the clothes that we wear, and having ourselves and our loved ones healthy. We can extend our sense of gratitude to the relationships we have in our lives, our family and friends, our work, the beautiful nature that is around us, and also to the struggles that we’ve experienced in which we grew and learned from, and the list goes on and on.

As a well-being practice, I encourage you to either journal or contemplate every evening, 5 good things that have happened that day. Putting this into writing will focus your attention on the good things you already have in your life, and you will also be minded of them while they happen during the day so that you have something to write about in the evening.

I also like to begin my mornings with an internal gratitude for what I already have and start off my day like this.

So, the secret to having it all is knowing you already do!

Focus on the Good, Be well, take care, and thank you for being part of my journey.

Happy Thanksgiving 2021 :-)

Much Love & Gratitude

Michelle Guelfand

MBA, NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner

Holistic, Results-Oriented Coaching, Workshops & Lectures

Unconditional Love Matters

Sat, 03 Jul 2021 04:04:26 GMT

Unconditional love raises sense of self-worth and can save lives

For those of you who prefer to view and listen to the following message, instead of reading, here’s a link to a Facebook Live I did about this

In my previous blog post, I talked about Being Who You Are .

In this blog post I would like to talk about: The importance of Unconditional Love.

Unconditional Love means accepting a person for who they are and caring about their happiness and wellness without setting ultimatums or demanding any benefits in return.

Throughout my work as a holistic, results-oriented life coach and speaker and through my personal journey, I’ve learned to realize that unconditional love from parents to their children is extremely important in building one’s self-confidence and sense of self-worth. The impact of this extends from childhood through adolescence and adulthood.

A 2015 study from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child found that “ Every child who winds up doing well has had at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive adult.”

But even the most successful people, may have their struggles that originated from early childhood memories that were perceived as lack of unconditional love. Those experiences have long-term effects that may prevent them from being the best version of themselves, in relationships, at work or in their physical well-being.

Providing unconditional love to children and youth is even more crucial in marginalized communities.

Pride Month has just ended, but advocacy for the marginalized LGBTQIA community is important year-round.

As an alley to this community let me share with you some alarming data presented in the Trevor Project:
- Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24.
- LGB youth are almost five times as likely to have attempted suicide compared to heterosexual youth
- In a national study, 40% of transgender adults reported having made a suicide attempt. 92% of these individuals reported having attempted suicide before the age of 25.
- LGB youth who come from highly rejecting families are 8.4 times as likely to have attempted suicide as LGB peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection.
- Each episode of LGBT victimization, such as physical or verbal harassment or abuse, increases the likelihood of self-harming behavior by 2.5 times on average.

If you or someone you know may be at risk of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. If you’re a young LGBTQ person and need to talk to someone, call The Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386

Unconditional love is a conscious decision you make every day, and in every new situation that comes along, to yourself and to your loved ones. As a society we have the responsibility to accept everyone for who they are and allow a welcoming and safe environment. This can save someone’s life.

And If you are an adult, who suffered from lack of love in your childhood, and you feel it’s affecting you in any way, remember you have the responsibility to love yourself unconditionally, and give yourself a chance to heal these wounds, and transform them into resources that can assist you today in getting to where we want tomorrow, because as Ru Paul said:
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else”

Please reach out if you need some guidance and assistance.

I'll be honored to meet you.

Sending much love to you,

Michelle Guelfand

MBA, NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner
Founder & CEO
My Desired Outcome Academy
Holistic, Results-oriented Coaching, Lectures & Workshops
www.myDesiredOutcome.com

Be Who You Are

Fri, 25 Jun 2021 04:23:36 GMT

Stand in the light and be seen as you are

For those of you who prefer to view and listen to the following message, instead of reading, here’s a link to a Facebook Live I did about this.

Hello beautiful,

In my previous blog post, I talked about Trusting the Universe , and looking for the gift in disguise when life don’t seem to go the way we wished or hoped for.

In this blog post, I would like to talk about: Being who you are.

In this Month of Pride, and as an ally, I would like to dedicate this blog post to the LGBTQIA Community.

So many times, we worry about what others will think about us that we’re afraid to show the world who we are. We are ashamed of our struggles, of our uniqueness.

As social creatures, we try to fit in and belong. It is a basic survival mechanism, that served us well, especially when we were young, more vulnerable and had less available resources. But to keep hiding, is a double-edge sword.

When we cover our uniqueness and our beauty from the world, we lose twice: We lose ourselves, and the world loses us.

There are 7 billion people on the planet. Each one of us is unique. No one has the exact same fingerprints, or the same combination of talents, experiences, struggles, triumphs, passions, family, friends, beliefs, loves, actions, nor our mind, soul and spirit.

I have to admit, that when I relocated with my family to the San Francisco Bay almost 7 years ago, I was a little bit concerned how my life will be like as an immigrant in a different country.

I feel humbled and blessed to live in a place that celebrates diversity of individuals and groups coming from various cultural, linguistic, and religious backgrounds, as well as sexual orientations and gender identities.

Oscar Wild said: " Be yourself, everyone else is already taken ".

Don’t compare yourself to others and think that you are not as good as others, only aspire to be a better version of yourself.

Be who you are.

Own your uniqueness.
Walk with pride,
and share your gifts with the world.

And remember, just as you are unique, everyone else is. So come with an open mind to people that are different than you, and respect others for who they are. Your life experience will be so much enriched because of that.

I would also like to share this beautiful song by Jordan Smith “Stand in the light” that may inspire you with its lyrics, melody and videography.

If you, or your loved ones feel the need to consult with a compassionate, non-judgmental holistic, results-oriented professional, please reach out.

With Much Love & Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand

Trust the Universe. Look for the Gift in Disguise

Fri, 21 May 2021 02:50:21 GMT

Trust the Universe. Look for the Gift in Disguise

For those of you who prefer to view and listen to the following message, instead of reading, watch the video above a recording of a Facebook Live I did about this.

In my previous blog post, Trust Yourself! An inspiring story of my grandma I talked about my grandma’s experience brining the message of Trusting Yourself. As a Jewish person, my grandma had to trust herself during World War II, in staying alive.

In this Blog post, I would like to talk about: Trusting the Universe .

When I say the ‘Universe’ I relate to something that is bigger and greater than me.

The Universe is all of space and time and their contents, and all forms of matter and energy.

Some call it the Source, some call it Higher Consciousness, Some call it God.

The belief in such force is very much rooted in those that practice religion, or self-development.

For those who don’t, there is a tendency to take the good things in life for granted.

But, things don’t always work the way we want.

And life happens while we’re busy planning it.

It is mostly when we feel we have no control of the events around us.

That sense of losing control may cause some of us to feel a range of unpleasant emotions, like frustration, sadness, anger, hurt, even shame.

I recall some unpleasant life experiences that I perceived as bad at the time, both in my personal and my professional life as a marketing manager in the high-tech industry. Like losing a job following massive organizational changes and not being hired to a job I applied right after. Or experiencing a toxic work environment that led me to retire without the security of another job.

It was only a while later that I learned to see the gift in disguise .

It is from these life experiences that I instilled my trust in the Universe.

The belief that eventually, things will turn out for the better, even if I can’t see How right now.

Tony Robbins says: “Life is not happening to me, Life is happening for me”

And although it may be challenging at times, I invite you to explore this statement: Life is not happening to me, Life is happening for me: and see how the search for the good in challenging situations changes your experience.

Trusting the Universe can alleviate the sense of hopelessness and give us hope.

Trusting the Universe can also be useful when we are looking to advance in our life and looking to experiment with new and challenging endeavors.

Trusting Ourselves as we take action around the things we have control over on the one hand, AND Trusting the Universe, in things we don’t have control of on the other hand, is a powerful combination that can only empower us.

And let me conclude with a quote by Albert Einstein: “The most important decision we ever make is whatever we believe we live in a friendly universe or a hostile universe”.

So, which path do you choose to lead your life with?

I hope this story inspires you,
and I would love to hear your stories of trusting the Universe.

With Much Love & Gratitude,

Michelle

Trust Yourself! An inspiring story of my grandma.

183:777945965 (Michal Guelfand) — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 06:02:15 GMT

You are stronger than you think you are. Always trust yourself!

Today, I would like to encourage you to Trust yourself!

In a week from now it will be one year to the passing of my grandmother, Ella.

I would like to dedicate this blog post to her, with the intent to inspire you with her story.

My grandma was born in Poland in 1917 at the end of World War I.
Being the youngest of 6 brothers and sisters, her parents did not have the money to keep sending her to school.
So, she started financing herself by giving private lessons in Polish, and payed her bookkeeping studies.

At 22 years old, in 1939, World War II began.

As the German Nazis occupied Poland, she fled to Russia.

Think about it: Ella, a young Jewish lady, during world wall II, taking a courageous decision to leave her family, and all that is familiar in her life, to the unknown, because the destiny in staying in place would very likely mean a death sentence. She escapes to another country, with no language and no one she knows. Failing is not an option for her. She knows she can only trust herself.

Following a random chat with a woman in the street, she is encouraged to go to a job interview as a bookkeeper. The manager asks her if she knows Russian. “No”, she says. “but I know numbers”. Start working tomorrow! he tells her. Ella is now the bookkeeper of this coal mine business. Once a month she walks over 6miles to the bank, collecting salaries for workers, sometimes in the cold of winter. No one knows she’s Jewish. They trust her.

In a night school for Russian, she meets my grandpa, Isaak, a young Polish Jew who also fled to Russia. When my mom is three-month-old, he is called to serve the Polish army in Russia. Ella is left with a baby for another year and a half without much knowing of his destiny. The manager arranges her a nanny(!!) so she returns to work. As the Nazis keep coming closer and closer, the workers, and my grandma keep moving north.

When the war is over, my grandparents return to Poland, only to realize my grandma's two older sisters, who remained in Poland with their families, as well as her father who did not flee, were murdered by the Nazis.

The Polish government denied their Polish citizenship, and their apartment was taken by the Polish authorities.
Along with my grandparents' families, over 6 million Jews were murdered during the Holocaust in European countries. Over 60% of their population pre-war.

They continue their journey as refugees, going through Austria, France, and landed in Argentina for a year. When my mom was 5 years old, they sailed for 2 months to their last destination, and arrived safely in the newly established State of Israel. Here, she will cope with more challenges.

While my grandma couldn’t control life events, she took proactive steps to control her life as much as she could. She quickly adapted to uncertainties in life, and studied the local languages wherever she went. She was a hard worker, independent woman with integrity and perseverance. She trusted herself to cope with whatever cards she was dealt with .

My grandma died at almost 103 years old, in good health, while sitting on her couch watching TV.

She was survived by two daughters, 6 grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today, we may be living in a different era. But in our life's journey, each one of us will face many unknows and uncertainties.
Many of which we can not control.

But if you find yourself telling yourself: “I can’t do it”, or “I can’t deal with it”, think of people like my grandma, and know, that
you are stronger than you think you are!

Trust yourself to cope with whatever challenge you’re facing , whether at work, in your family, with your health.
Tell yourself to stop that inner voice and replace it with an empowering statement:

I trust myself to cope with life!
I can do it!
I will do it!

I hope this story inspires you.

and I would love to hear your inspiring story.

With Much Love & Gratitude,

Michelle

Bye bye 2020, welcome 2021!

Tue, 29 Dec 2020 02:10:50 GMT

2020 in retrospect. New decisions for 2021

This year has definitely been a challenging one to many of us, including myself.

As the year comes to an end, it is time to reflect back, obtain new learnings, and make new decisions for the upcoming year.

Here are some of my learnings from 2020:

1. You can't always get what you want

This, I think, is one of the major learnings from COVID-19 pandemic.

Most suffering results from the meaning we assign to the gap between what we wanted and what actually happens. And the thought that we can't control everything may be scary to some of us. It sure was, (and still is to some extent) to me.

The sooner we learn to accept reality as it is, let go of the need to control everything, and trust ourselves and the universe, the faster we bounce back.

And as the Rolling Stones put it: You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you find you get what you need” . (Check out this April 18 “At Home”, 2020 Version )

2. Be compassionate to yourself and others

Uncertainty and fear activate our stress mechanism of Fight, Flight or Freeze response. When an acute stress response is extended over a prolong period, just as in video games, where one loses ‘health points’, in real life, our energy is depleted, we experience anything from emotional stress to serious physical symptoms, and our overall wellbeing is compromised.

The demanding modern world's pace was running on high speed, and as we're forced to lock down, we are forced to lower the pace. So, allow yourself to slow down. Even if it means to take a conscious 5-minute break to breath.

Be compassionate to yourself for not achieving all your dreams and plans in 2020.

Remember, in nature there are cycles. Nothing is constant. This too shall pass.

3. Build your resilience. Adapt to changes

So things didn't work out the way you planned it. Resilience is how fast we overcome and adapt to changes. Instead of mourning our inability to do what we wanted, ask yourself: "What's next"? "What can I do differently now"?

So in my case, instead of going to the gym 4 times a week, I started walking in nature, and realized I actually enjoy it!

And instead of meeting clients in person locally, I started guiding and mentoring my clients exclusively online. This has opened the possibility of helping people on a national and global level. An option that was always there before but was not realized as much before.

4. Acknowledge what you did do this year

Even if you feel that you barely did anything during 2020, find that something that you did do. Anything is an accomplishment, even getting out of bed!

As I look back, I see that even though I feel I was doing things on a slower pace, I realize I:

1. Kept on exercising - walking in nature and exercising online

2. Experienced veganism . Experimented with new ingredients, recipes, and cooking.

3. Started learning piano via 'Simply Piano' app. Very cool!

4. I nvested in Learning and personal development

Enriched myself with online courses including, completing a Yale University course about ‘The science of well-being’; Conversational hypnosis, Evolution of Psychotherapy, and more, gaining more therapeutic tools for myself and my clients.

5. Learn a language - went back to learning French in an online app.

6. Started my blog! This is my 14th blog post for the year.

7. Wrote, recorded and published a guided meditation in 2 languages

8. Presented in various online settings through collaborations.

9. Helped my online clients achieve extraordinary results . (I should dedicate a separate blog for that).

10. Connected to family and friends over the phone , overcoming physical and social distancing.

11. Bonded more with my nuclear family as we all live under the same roof 24/7 now.

12. And probably more that I don't remember or haven't realized yet!

Some of the things on this list may not have happened had we not experienced a world pandemic like COVID-19, and for that I am grateful. Focus on the good.

5. And here is my list for 2021:

1. Take a decision to keep optimistic.

2. Be open for opportunities.

3. Allow myself to explore.

4. Set my intent for my desired outcome.

5. Set goals I can start acting upon today.

6. Keep going!

So how is 2021 going to look like for you?

I am looking forward to hearing how your year was in retrospect, and how you're going to make it different in 2021.

Let's all welcome the year of 2021 with love, hope and flexibility.

Much Love & Gratitude,
Michelle Guelfand

MBA, NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner
Holistic, Results-Oriented Coaching
www.myDesiredOutcome.com

Happy Thanksgiving!

Fri, 27 Nov 2020 00:18:36 GMT

Thanksgiving 2020. Time to practice Gratitude.

Thanksgiving of 2020 is definitely different than any other year.
Everyone around the globe has been impacted by the global pandemic,
And Thanksgiving gathering is not the same as it used to be.

But, when we focus on the bad, we sure gonna find more of it, and our overall state of being is getting filled with stress, anxiety, sadness and even a sense of hopelessness and helplessness.

A proven antidote for those emotions is gratitude . Gratitude is a positive emotional state in which one recognizes and appreciates what one has received in life. Positive psychology researches, as appear in the Harvard Medical School “Giving Thanks can make you happier” article , show that taking time to experience gratitude can make you happier and healthier, build strong relationships and deal with sense of adversity.

There are so many things to be grateful for in life: For our breath, for every functioning organ, for our healthy mind and body, for family and friends, for the roof over our heads, for the food on our table, for the beauty of nature, for kindness and more.

Make it a habit to practice gratitude and track your level of contentment and happiness.

For the next seven days, take 5-10 minutes each night to write down five things for which you are grateful. They can be little things or big things. But you really have to focus on them and actually write them down. As you do that, take a moment to be mindful of the things you’re writing about. Do this each night for a whole week.

Looking forward to hearing how it has changed your focus, and how you feel different after the practice.

Happy Thanksgiving 2020 :-)

Much Love & Gratitude

Michelle Guelfand
MBA, NLP Trainer & Master Practitioner
Holistic, Results-Oriented Life Coaching

Seize the moment. Be Present. Be Grateful.

Sat, 05 Sep 2020 00:20:51 GMT

What a day trip to The Forest of Nisene Marks State Park has taught me.

It was early Aug. 2020, five months into shelter-in-place of COVID-19 pandemic, that I decided to stop feeling separated, seize the moment and the possibilities Corona days have been giving us, and extend beyond the periphery of my familiar environment. With a little reminder from a good friend, I became aware again that there is so much more around me and that nature is out there. I decided to explore Año Nuevo State Park in California with my elder son, take a short hike, and connect to the water element by the ocean. You can read more about it in my previous blog post: When I'm feeling blue all I have to do is get some vitamin sea :-)

And like other things that are new to us, and may create inconvenience to some of us, appetite comes with eating ��

So, the following week, my son and I went off to explore a new nearby location:

The Forest of Nisene Marks State Park by Aptos, near Santa Cruz, California.

We got to experience the beauty of this park thanks to Nisene Marks of the Salinas family, who bought the land in the 1950s, and her children who donated nearly 10,000 acres to the state in 1963 with the provision that the land never be developed.

We packed some food and water for an onsite picnic, and with a good heart we started exploring the park’s trails. It was a hot day outside, but cool inside the redwood forest. We hiked, and climbed, and talked, nodded hello to other hikers as we passed next to them with our face masks on and felt a sense of awe and gratitude to the beauty of nature, to our bodies that carry us and for having each other’s company.

There were times we walked on a narrow trail overlooking some rugged canyons, and I felt brave, as I recalled times when it was impossible for me to cross anything over 3 feet high. I keep on feeling this sense of inner victory as I no longer have my height phobia* which I overcame years ago thanks to NLP.

We ended up walking a total of almost 10 miles that day, feeling proud of our achievement, and rewarding ourselves with cool water as we reached Maple Falls.

Apparently, almost all of today’s redwood forest was clear-cut in a 40-year logging frenzy from 1883 to 1923. When the loggers left the Aptos Canyon, almost 100 years ago, the forest began to heal itself.

It was less than a week later, in the dry, hot weather of mid-August that nearly 12,000 lightning stroked over 72 hours and ignited hundreds of fires across California that have roared through wildland, burning over 1 million acres, destroying wildlife, hundreds of homes and prompted the evacuation of more than 100,000 people . Among the largest fires in Northern California are the SCU Lightning Complex Fire, the LNU Lightning Complex blaze, and the CZU Lightning Complex fire in Santa Cruz and San Mateo. And then the air quality has become dangerous to breath.

It was, and still is, devastating and a very humbling experience to watch the firefighters as they fight to put the fires down, and the understanding how fragile humans and animals are against a roaring wildfire.

The Forest of Nisene Marks is now closed until further notice, due to the fires.

According to CAL Fire web site, the fires have not burn down The Forest of Nisene Marks State Park, but have other regions.

As our brave firefighters are still working to contain the fires, nature, like humans, is strong and adapts.

And just as the Forest of Nisene Marks has become a monument to forest regeneration, we will too regenerate and thrive again.

The year of 2020 has been giving us unexpected challenges, but also endless opportunities.

Stay safe.
Be Present.
Breathe.
Be Grateful.
Seize the moment.
Keep on growing and thriving.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

Much Love and Gratitude,

Michelle

* PS, If any of you suffer from any kind of a phobia, like fear of heights, flights, closed spaces, dogs, dentist’s drill, needles, etc. please contact me, and I will help you overcome this faster than you think.

When I'm feeling blue all I have to do is...

Thu, 13 Aug 2020 02:54:55 GMT

When I'm feeling blue all I have to do is get some vitamin sea :-)

Since the Corona virus pandemic has burst into our lives, it’s been over five months that I, along with many of you, have been sheltered-in-place. Well, once a week I do go to my favorite nearby supermarket (Trader Joe’s) and do some walks behind my house. Normally, I try to look on the positive side of life, but being locked down for so long has been giving me its downward signs. I bet you can relate to that, can’t you?

So yes, this time is changeling for me too, and I found myself saddened at times, and caught myself in downward spiral of thoughts. (Yes, it happens to me too sometimes).

After feeling sorry for myself, I reminded myself that although we need to be socially distant, I can still meet/call my friends virtually regardless of their geographical location. We are indeed blessed to be living in an era that allows that technologically!

So I called a good friend of mine. She listened and then gave me an order:

“Tomorrow you’re going to the beach. You need some ‘Vitamin Sea’. And take your older son with you. Treasure every minute you can with him before he moves out of the house.” She recommended a place I should go to and instructed me to send her pictures from my trip the following day.

She was right. Instead of focusing on what I don’t have or want, I should be focusing on what I do have and want. (This is exactly how I encourage my coaching clients to do). Since universities transitioned to online studies for now, we are fortunate to still have our older son at home with us for a little longer. With the days of the week looking similar, I sometimes lose track on time, and time is precious. And so I'm so glad my friend reminded me of that, and that nature is right around the corner, and that I’m definitely not locked in prison and should not allow my spirit to fall into that perceived trap.

I also liked the fact that she challenged me to commit to taking action. I now felt that she’s my accountability buddy, and I was more committed to show her that I am taken on this challenge.

I talked to my son, who immediately agreed to join me. (That was much easier than I thought!).
The following morning, I packed a beg with water, food, hats, sunscreen, an outdoor folding mat, walking shoes, and flip flops.

And we headed to Año Nuevo State Park in California . (Note that due to COVID-19, at the time of this blog post, the elephant seal area is closed).

We had a perfect day together. Great weather, great company, exploring nature, hiking, and resting by the ocean.

During our day trip, I was simply in the moment. Being immersed in the experience, feeling grateful that I have a great partner for the trip, and cherishing every moment. I got back home feeling happy and hopeful.

We decided to make it a habit. The following week we went to another day trip. (I’ll save that to another post ��)

So, if you find yourself feeling blue, take yourself to a source of water: a lake, a river, an ocean, a waterfall, a creek. I challenge you to get some ‘Vitamin Sea’. Consider me as your accountable buddy. Go and explore. Be in the moment. Relax. Connect to the infinite universe and know that just as the ebb and flow of the water, life has its highs and lows, and this challenging time shall pass, too, and you will come stronger on the other side. Enjoy the opportunities this time has to offer you.

How do you lift yourself up? What do you find to be beneficial for you?

I would love to hear back from you!

And please send me some photos from your trip.

Much Love & Gratitude,

Michelle

Stress is on the Rise. Get tools to lower it down.

Wed, 29 Jul 2020 03:02:08 GMT

Stress is on the rise. Get Tools to lower it down.

It’s been over five months since the COVID -19 pandemic has burst into our reality and impacted everyone’s life around the globe. Recent research by the American Psychological Association shows a significant rise of stress levels among individuals, parents, and even more among people of color, as a response to this time. The economy, work, parenting, relations, the government, and more are attributed as stressors.

According to Harvard Medical School the stress response, also known as “fight or flight” mode, is “what the body does as it prepares to confront or avoid danger”. But as we hold on to our stress for prolonged periods of time, we risk suppressing our immune system, increasing our blood pressure, are prone to develop heart diseases, and increase the susceptibility to cold, viruses and other illnesses.

Yes, this time is challenging to all of us in so many levels, and feels like we have no control of so many things, but as we become aware of the danger of leading stressful life, it is our duty to take back control over our health and well-being.

The late, Dr. Wayne Dyer said “ The truth is that there is no actual stress or anxiety in the world; it’s your thoughts that create these false beliefs. You can’t package stress, touch it, or see it . There are only people engaged in stressful thinking.”

If you look around you may notice that everyone is responding differently to external life events, and some people are more stressful than others, would you agree?

So if you are among those who take things to heart, and know that your stress levels are high, first be compassionate to yourself as it is completely normal. And second, know that you can reduce your stress levels by practicing some simple strategies and techniques.

I was honored and excited to be invited as a guest speaker at the very first "assembly" of Dr. Katie Raher's Constant Love & Learning ' Inward Circle' 10 week SELf-Care program for Educators !

Please join Dr. Katie and me for this full session recording to learn some strategies to stress relief and gain some clarity .

In this blog post, I will share the first technique. I will share some more in future blog posts.

The first strategy to induce the relaxation response in your body and reduce stress is to be mindful of your state, and to simply breathe . Yes, we sometimes forget to stop, and take a deep breath in, and exhale all the tension out.

There is a host of benefits for practicing relaxation and mindful breathing:

A deep abdominal breathing encourages full oxygen exchange, and by doing that alone we can slow the heartbeat, lower or stabilize blood pressure, reduce stress levels, calm down, improve the efficiency of our immune system and more.

Practice breathing and you'll find it easier to relax during times of stress and minimize the amount of time your body spends in this stress response.

Allow yourself to find a comfortable position, and simply take a purifying big breath.

Breathe in fully through your nose;

Let your belly fill with air;

Now breathe out through your mouth with a ‘Ha’ sound,

releasing the tension in your shoulders.

Let’s do it one more time.

Now place one hand on your belly;

Place the other on your chest;

Breathe in through your nose;

And Breathe out through your mouth.

As you breath in, feel your belly rise.

As you breathe out, feel your belly lower.

The hand on your belly should move more than that on your chest.

Take three more full, deep breaths, in...and out.

How are you feeling differently now?

I hope you’re feeling more relaxed.

And I’m looking forward to hearing back about your experience.

And if you feel the need for some personal one-on-one holistic coaching,

feel free to connect with me, write me, and schedule a quick consultation call.

To your health!

With Love & Gratitude,

Michelle Guelfand

Birthday in the midst of Corona. Now I’m really happy

183:777945965 (Michal Guelfand) — Tue, 14 Jul 2020 02:59:10 GMT

Birthday in the midst of Corona. Now I’m really happy.

It was my birthday yesterday.

In a week from now, I was supposed to be travelling for a 3-week vacation visiting my extended family abroad. My mom had her birthday the day before, and it could have been such a wonderful time to celebrate together. Wouldn’t it?

But…”Mann Tracht, Un Gott Lacht”. This is an old Yiddish proverb meaning “Man Plans, and God Laughs.”

Life happens as we’re busy planning it, and no matter how careful we plan, life may be very unpredictable. We just live in an illusion of predictability.

Anyone who have had a car accident, a radical change in health, a loss of job, or a loss of a dear one, understands this by now. The sooner we adapt, and are flexible to life changes, the faster we recover and thrive.

One thing that this global COVID-19 pandemic has taught us all is that we cannot predict everything, and that we cannot control everything.

So many changes of plans have taken place; from people losing their jobs, to losing a dear family member or a friend, not being able to freely travel and commute, and so much more.

Yesterday I had my birthday. Normally we celebrate by going out to a nice restaurant and play a Bocce game. As we are socially consciousness of the spread of the virus, we preferred to stay at home, as we do in the

past 4 months or so by now.

I could have gotten disappointed and bitter, but I had a really wonderful day!

Wanna know how?

It was actually quite easy ��

The moment I decided to take ownership of my own happiness, was the moment of freedom and happiness.

You see, if we allow the environment to dictate our level of happiness, we are giving our power to something we have no control of, and we’re left frustrated and helpless. The sooner we realize that being in a state of happiness is something only we have control of, that is when we get empowered by ourselves.

And so, I decided that for my birthday, I am focusing only on the good around me.

1. Feel the energy of love from miles away.

My parents live in a 10-hour time difference away from me, and so to them, my birthday begins the night before.

(Well, that’s one of the perks of living so far away from my family, as my birthday extends over two days ��)

But despite the fact that my parents were geographically distant, I could still feel their loving energy miles away over the phone. I also got some virtual wishes from friends near and far. We are so blessed to be living in a technologically advanced era that allows that.

2. What you seed is what you get.

I woke up in the morning, and the house was decorated with our in-stock happy birthday signage and balloons, which my son arranged. It was really nice because it showed his intent and attention to what he knows is important to me. This is our go-to whenever one of us has a birthday. I role modeled this to my children so many times. It is nice to know that as they grow up, they too know how to give some attention back.

3. Surround yourself with joyful setting that you love.

The house was also decorated by a nice bouquet which I bought to myself two days earlier, and the flowers started to open and bloom. That was beautiful. I did not build up expectations that someone will buy me flowers, and then get disappointed if they didn’t. No need to activate any ego here. I love flowers, and I got myself what I love that makes me happy.

4. Do something that’s important to you.

I enrolled to a 7-day nutrition cleansing and workout program that is vegan, gluten-free and sugar-free, that started off on my birthday. I was feeling happy and empowered as I was gifting myself with the gift of taking back control over my health and well-being. My health and well-being is a value I live by, and this is another way to enhance it. I was happy and ready to take on this journey.

5. Challenge yourself with something new and exciting.

So taking on this 7-day cleansing program is definitely changing my automatic cooking and eating habits. The recipes involve ingredients I’ve never heard of or kept in my pantry before. After purchasing what I needed, I cooked something new from the program recipes. It was new, and I was curious to see and taste my new dish. It turned out delicious ��

6. Count Your Blessings. Be grateful.

After a home-made lunch, it was time for the gifts. When I was a little girl and wanted something, I had to wait for my birthday to get it, if at all. We now live in an era of abundance. Everything is a click away, and we get most of what we want in a day or two straight to our doorway. To me it is more of a symbolic act of attention. My husband got me a nice tea mug with my birth year printed on it, and some inspiring drink coasters. My older son read me a wish he wrote, and my younger son gave me his hearty hugs. It felt so nice.

In the past, I could have focused on what I didn’t get, but instead, the night before, I was focusing on all my blessings. I wrote each one of my family members a long gratitude letter. To my husband, to my three children, and to me as well. Yes, to me. Because I am the person that I most need to be happy with. Research show that giving thanks is one of the key ways to increase happiness, and I can attest you just that. The process of focusing on the good qualities, intentions and behavior of the people you are in relations with, and in your environment, and writing it down opened my heart with love, joy and happiness. I gave them the letters and was so grateful for being among my loving, healthy family.

7. Nature is out there. Explore it.

Yes, Corona days restrict us in so many ways, but nature is still around us. After lunch, we got into our car, and just drove to explore new roads and locations. Being shelter-in-place for so long, we appreciated watching the changing fields, not taking the road for granted, and satisfying our eyes with new sights. We parked to watch around and take some phots and drove back home feeling happy.

So yesterday I had my birthday in the midst of Corona, and I’m really happy ��

How do you make yourself happy?

Looking forward to hearing your ideas.

Sending you love.

Michelle

Class of 2020! Graduation during COVID-19

Sat, 06 Jun 2020 02:42:57 GMT

Alternatives for Graduation Ceremony - The L-E-A-R-N Model!

Everybody’s lives has been impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic in one way or another.

For some of our children, this may have been the first time where they needed to deal with a change of plans.

This week marks graduation week for class of 2020!

Some graduated from Elementary School, Middle School, High-School or College/University, (Including my own children). Many children and their parents were looking for this milestone as it marks yet another step of progress and a moment of pride.

Yes, in a perfect world, we would watch our children graduate with their peers, see them with the hood, cap and gown, and shed a tear of pride as we watch them grow and thrive. For our children, a graduation ceremony is a reward and acknowledgment of their years of effort, and maybe also a relief.

But as we make plans, life is throwing surprises at us.

To help parents and children navigate through this unique time

I developed The L-E-A-R-N model :

1. L earning Experience – Everything in life is a learning experience. This COVID-19 time has been a reminder that we don’t always get what want, plan or expect. It is a good reminder to practice flexibility and creativity. The sooner we are to accept and come up with new ways to handle a situation, the faster we recover, and thrive.

2. E mpower Character - As parents we can empower our children through this time. By empowerment I mean to remind them of their effort, progress, learnings, capabilities, and achievements. Parents can prepare a letter reviewing and listing all the good qualities that their children have demonstrated throughout the year and highlighting their internal resources that are forever theirs to keep and use.

A sense of pride to both you and your child emerges, as you review how much they have matured, overcame hardship, demonstrated flexibility, creativity and built resilience as they shape their character.

You can write a nice letter, add some highlight pictures, and print it on a nice paper or card.

I have been practicing this twice a year with my children; On their birthday, and at the end of each school year. This process is a good reminder for me that my children are growing and maturing, and I know my children cherish this personal message for years to come.

3. A cknowledge Feelings.

First acknowledge your own feelings of disappointment and frustration, then acknowledge your children’s feelings of disappointment and frustration. Each of you have pictured it in your mind’s-eye, and the external events have changed the course of life.

Meet your child where they are. Allow those feelings to be for a while. Don’t shove them under the rug, ignore or dismiss them. They have a place. Guide your child to thank the feelings for showing up. Provide your children some safe space to contemplate on them.

4. R ecall Moments. Be Grateful. Celebrate!

Once you allow that safe space for your child to share their feelings, you build up that trust, and you now start leading them, and think together of what you do have control of. You can now call upon your creative mind and come up with new ideas.

* Recall pleasant memories .

Ask your child to share a nice, fun memory, what they liked to do at school premises, or during the distance learning program, which teacher they remember for the good and why.

* Be Grateful . As your child changes their focus from feeling lacking to feeling abundant of good memories, ask them to savor the moments, and be grateful for the experiences. Encourage them to treasure these memories, and the individuals in these memories in their hearts. According to quantum physics we are all energetically connected. By recalling moments of connection and feeling grateful rather than sadness about them makes a big difference in how we experience ending.

* Celebrate – Now this is another time for that creativity of yours to kick in. Celebrate this moment so that you and your child have a good memory to recall upon in the future.

You can:

- Decorate the house and the front yard

- Prepare a nice lunch/dinner or order one in to support a local restaurant

- Bake/Order a cake

- Play nice music

- Give your child that Empowerment letter

- Prepare a Virtual Google Photo album of past school years and jointly watch it on your TV while listening to fun music.

- Print an actual photo album

- Decorate your car and drive along with other friends

- Zoom call with friends

and whatever other creative ideas you may have.

5. N ew Beginning – Focus on the Future

Life has its cycles, and every ending brings in a new opportunity for something new.

By now, your child has probably taken some steps to plan ahead for the next adventure.

Remind them of all their internal resources that they have within them, all their capabilities, their strengths and resilience to deal with unexpected events. Remind them that all they need to do is to keep on going. To advance to the next step. And when it turns hard, to look back and acknowledge their progress, be proud, and keep on moving.

This is a good reminder to us all. As we encourage our children, we can use the exact same model, and encourage ourselves, too.

Way to go Class of 2020!

You’ve made it!

Congratulations!

Be proud of yourselves!

I am too!

Guided Meditation for Relaxation & Immune System Boost

Wed, 22 Apr 2020 01:40:26 GMT

Guided Meditation for Relaxation & Immune System Boost
for Corona Virus times and beyond

Dear friends,

The corona virus is still spreading around the world

and in some locations, we are still required to shelter in place to some degree,
wear masks when going outside for essentials,
and many of us are experiencing challenges we have never encountered before.

Many of us fear the uncertainty in so many aspects,

and the levels of stress and anxiety rise.

In order for us and for our family to stay healthy,

It is very important that we keep calm,

and strengthen our immune system.

I would like to share with you a guided meditation I wrote and recorded for relaxation and for mental boost of your immune system.

I invite you: women, men, and children who would like to join me,

to allow yourself some me-time to relax and stay strong from the inside out.

Please let me know if you have any questions or requests: connect@myDesiredOutcome.com

And if you need some personal guidance,

Feel free to contact me via this web site

and get your 15 min consultation with me for free.

Stay Safe and Healthy,

Sincerely,

Michelle Guelfand

My Desired Outcome Academy

Holistic Coaching, Lectures & Seminars

הדמייה לרגיעה וחיזוק מערכת החיסון

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 05:50:36 GMT

הדמייה לרגיעה וחיזוק מערכת החיסון - לימי קורונה ובכלל....

"מרגיע, מחזק ומרגש. יש לי נסיון ורקע בדמיון מודרך ויחד עם זאת הרבה זמן לא שמעתי הדמיה כזו. השילוב של התוכן וקולה המרגש של מיכל בהחלט - ראויים לציון. תודה לך מיכל על העזרה בלהרגיע ולחזק בימים לא קלים אלו. " - ישראל שפייזר

שלום חברים וחברות יקרים,

וירוס הקורונה עדיין משתולל בעולם,

אנשים נדרשים להשאר בבתים באופן זה או אחר,

ולחבוש מסיכות כשיוצאים החוצה לדברים החיוניים,

כך שאנו חווים אתגרים שלא התמודדנו איתם מעולם בעבר.

רבים חוששים מחוסר הוודאות בכל כך הרבה אספקטים,

ורמות האי-שקט הפנימי והלחץ עולים.

על מנת שאנחנו ובני משפחתינו נשאר בריאים,

חשוב מאוד שנשמור על הרגיעה הפנימית,

ונחזק את מערכת החיסון שלנו.

אז למי שלא מכיר,

אני מיכל גלפנד, מאמנת הוליסטית בגישת נלפ ודימיון מודרך,

וכתבתי במיוחד בשבילכם הדמיה לרגיעה ולחיזוק מנטלי של מערכת החיסון.

אני מזמינה אתכם: נשים, גברים, וגם ילדים שירצו להצטרף,

לפנות לעצמכם זמן להכניס רגיעה לחיים ולהשאר חזקים מבפנים

בזכות הגוף המופלא שלכם.

אשמח שתשתפו עם כל מי שיכול להנות ממנה,

ותעדכנו אותי איך הרגשתם אחריה, ואם יש לכם עוד בקשות נוספות.

בריאות לכולם

ובשורות טובות

Morning Routine Under Corona Quarantine

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 23:07:03 GMT

7 steps to a healthy morning routine under quarantine

As the Corona Virus Pandemic is still spreading around the world, more and more people find themselves in ‘shelter-in-Place’ or in quarantine. This new situation may evoke a lot of stress, and force a change of lifestyle, among other things.

As the focus of our attention is now shifting to staying safe and healthy during the outbreak, it is key to adopt a healthy lifestyle – now, more than ever.

One of the ways to feel better, is to take back control of what we can do, and make some adjustments to stay healthy within the realms of our homes.

Here are some 7 elements you would like to consider in your morning routine – now, more than ever:

1. Wake up in the morning. Just as you would in a normal workday.

(Robin Sharma suggest you do it at 5am)

2. Brush your teeth.

A 2011 study by the American Academy of Periodontology , suggests that maintaining healthy teeth and gums may reduce risk for pneumonia, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

Since according to the World Health Organization , the Corona virus is a respiratory disease, It is imperative to keep those teeth healthy.

3. Exercise. Get your heart rate up, and increase the flow of endorphins, which will “create a feeling of euphoria, block pain, and reduce anxiety" as clinical sports neuropsychologist Dr. Erin Reynolds tells Bustle.

4. Meditate. This will help you ground yourself, reduce stress and lower heart rate.

5. Journal your thoughts and plans for the day. This will help you keep focus for the day.

6. Eat a healthy breakfast . Studies have shown that consuming breakfast first thing in the morning greatly decreases hunger and cravings throughout the day. Now that our kitchen is in a close reach throughout the day, it is extremely important that we maintain a healthy weight and eat healthy.

7. Get dressed – do your hair, put on some cologne or perfume. This will immediately shift your physiology and signal your brain that you are active and ready for the day.

Let me know how your morning routine looks like, and if you’d like to adopt any or all of these tips.

Looking forward to hearing back from you.

Stay Safe and Healthy.

Sending Love, Michelle

Sing along - Every little cell in my body is healthy and well

Fri, 27 Mar 2020 23:46:13 GMT

Simple tools for improved immune system - during Corona Virus Pandemic and everyday

Hello everyone,

Today is Friday, March 27, 2020 and we’re still in the midst of the Corona Virus worldwide pandemic,

One of the things that we can do as individuals, (because we cannot control many things that go around us), Is having personal responsibility by making sure we take a good care of our physical, emotional and mental health.

In this post, I would like to remind you of two simple steps that you can take to keep your body healthy:

1 Work out.

I admit I haven’t done this on a daily basis this past week, as we had some rain this week, but this morning I walked down the trail behind my house, in nature, and made some 60000 steps.

2. Sing!

I know that a lot of us are in a bad mood, but you know if we get in our head a good song, and sing it out loud to ourselves, and we can have our kids join us or whomever it is, it can really help.

So I’d like to share with you a song that I’ve learned by Suzi Smith in my NLP Health Certificate Training in San Francisco two years ago.

The tune and melody is a very known one, and she put this little ditty, and we can all add or exchange the words, and I’ll show you in a minute, so come on and join me, it goes like this:

“Every little cell in my body is happy

Every little cell in my body is well

(Repeat X2)

I can tell every little cell

in my body is happy and well”

(Repeat X2)

And I’d like to use the recommendation by my friend Paula Ralph . She said how about we exchange the word “happy” with the word “healthy”, right?. And in this way, we make an internal affirmation to our cells in our body to do a really good job in what they for our immune system. So, it goes like this. Come along, join me:

“Every little cell in my body is healthy

Every little cell in my body is well

(Repeat X2)

I can tell every little cell

in my body is happy and well”

(Repeat X2)

And I’d like to invite you to have this song in your head. Repeat it. Sing it out loud, and start feeling better.

And also send a suggestion to your mind and body to work it out, right?

This is what we all need to do and we will – work it out !

Stay Safe and Healthy!

Sending Love, Michelle

COVID-19 - Corona Virus - What's it good for?

Wed, 11 Mar 2020 20:51:07 GMT

COVID 19- Corona Virus epidemic. An opportunity for change.

Corona virus, COVID-19 outbreak has caused many changes, in many industries, and it affects almost everyone on the globe.

Just as an example, On March 12-15, 2020, I was supposed to participate in the Tony Robbins Unleash The Power Within 4 day event in SAP Center , in San Jose, CA, along with other 14,000 people from around the world, but the Santa Clara County, (which San Jose is in) has banned gatherings of over 1000 people .

We don’t get to choose everything in life. Some external forces change our plans, but we can change the way we respond to events around us. One of the NLP Presuppositions is "Energy flows where attention goes". A notion that Tony Robbins uses as well. And If we change the focus from “Life is happening to me”, to “Life is happening for me”, we get to see some good things, and find some more of that.

So, what good comes out of the Corona virus?

1. The virus is not discriminating based on race, gender, religion, origin or sexual orientation.

What a humble experience is that?

This is a reminder to all of us, that we are all just like anyone else. Humans. Isn’t it not?

A time for self-care, creativity and self-growth

2. We tend to lead a very stressful life . May people spend hours on commute, waking up early, being alert on the roads, and returning late at night. Many times, the stress alone increases cortisol levels and weakens our immune system, and may we more prone to attract an ailment.

Out of social responsibility to decrease the spread of the virus, more and more companies are requesting employees to work from home. This is a great opportunity for some self-care.

Instead of daily hours of commute, people get to sleep another hour, and get to be with their family more.

3 . As the Corona Virus is spreading, we need to be more flexible , and demonstrate some personal responsibility as well to help contain the disease.

Some good questions each one of us is encouraged to ask now are:

- Is it necessary? Do I have to be in a specific location?

- What are my alternatives?

This is a great practice to use in any other time as well.

As a holistic, result-oriented life coach, I get to help people who feel stuck, in any life area.

One of the reasons is that they see the problem, and don’t see other options.

I am used to working out 4-5 times a week in the gym.
Now, as we all need to reassess and adjust , I asked myself these two questions.

The answer to the first question was:

- No. I don’t have to go to the gym.

But since my well-being is important to me, I asked myself the second question, and came up with an alternative: Walk down the trail behind my house, and add some home workout.

Now, I get to be part of nature. See the flowers bloom, watch the trees, hear the birds, and be thankful for life.

I invite you to practice asking these two questions,
and you may be surprised how creative you are, coming up with new ideas and solutions.

Please share here what are some of the benefits you have found following the new situation?

Life is beautiful.

Be grateful.

Sending Love, Michelle

And if you need help to navigate stress, feel free to contact me for help.

www.myDesiredOutcome.com

A New Year, New Habits

Wed, 22 Jan 2020 03:26:12 GMT

How did I make a difference in my patterns + 7-step strategy to making a change.

A few months back, I had a breakthrough moment.

I drove in the dark to an early morning work-out that begins at 5:45am at the 24hr fitness club.
I know many people do that. I didn’t. To me it sounded impossible, and inconceivable.

I was shocked and amazed at myself at the same time for doing this.
You can watch this experience as I recorded me Live on YouTube .

It’s been a couple of months ago, and I’ve been consistent ever since:

Once a week, I challenge myself; I set the alarm to 5am, for a 5:45am group work-out at the gym.

It’s still a challenge as I’m still not completely in my comfort zone.

In order to get results, be consistent and persistent in your actions.

It took me some 6 weeks to not feel tired after that and embrace my new Tuesday morning routine; Thinking and knowing: “Yes, I can do this!” It’s getting easier every time.

Why am I doing this?

1. To keep challenging myself, and my limiting beliefs.

By creating a new habit, I remind myself that if I’m stuck, in any area of my life, I can change that.

By now, it’s less of a challenge, because I have done this a few times already.

But it’s still a reminder for me to question my limiting beliefs.

In the past I used to think: “Oh, I can’t do this”, as I considered myself a night awl, now I know that if I change my pattern, and my strategy, I can shift.

I do need to adjust my sleeping routine, and set my clothes the night before, and go to sleep a little earlier, so I’m not sleep deprived.

2. I believe in holistic wellness, my mental, emotional and physical wellness re important to me, so keeping my fitness routine is good for my body.

3. Time management

It gives me more time during the day. I’m back after work out at 7 o’clock after shower and start off my day. I have more time. Otherwise the group work-out starts at 9/9:30 and I get back home around 11am, which is bit late. That makes a big difference in how I manage my time.

Here's a video of me, following workout today.

Don't miss my Take Aways following this video. (Click on the screen to play.

So, from this personal story, here are the take aways that you can benefit from:

Take Aways:

1. Whenever you feel stuck in any area of your life. Be aware of where you are.

2. Question your beliefs about yourself . What do you believe about yourself? What do you believe is possible for you? What do you believe you are capable of? What do you believe you are worthy of?

3. Take responsibility.

4. Make a decision to Change a pattern. Change a habit.

Challenge yourself outside of your comfort zone.

You can start off with an area in your life that may be easier for you to approach and change something there.

5. Change requires a new strategy.

If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same results. If you want different results, you need to change your strategy.

6. Take action

Nothing will change, until you take action. So, make the preparations you need, and just do it!

It will feel so GREAT after that! You will feel so EMPOWERED!

It will also serve as a PROOF that if you could change your habit, your pattern in one area of your life, it is POSSIBLE for you to change another unwanted habit in another area of your life.

7. Be consistent

Every change may feel scary in the beginning, weird, awkward or difficult, but as you build that muscle in repetition, you condition your mind and body until it becomes natural, easy and automated, that you longer think about it; Just like riding a bike, driving a car, or talking to a friend.

By now, you are rewiring a new EMPOWERING BELIEF within yourself: “I CAN do this!”

And by changing your mindset, this is already taking you so much closer to reaching your goals.

“It always seems impossible until it’s done” . Nelson Mandela

Good Luck!

You can do this!

And if you still need help, I am here for you.
Feel free to contact me for a results-oriented coaching, so that you too are empowered and can make the change that you want!

What I've learned in the past decade

Wed, 01 Jan 2020 07:26:55 GMT

Welcome to my first blog post...

12-31-2019

I have finally decided to take the plunge and add a blog to my site. I always wanted an easy way to share information with visitors and super excited to start this journey. Keep coming back to my site and check for updates right here on the blog.

My very first blog

So, I was thinking of writing a blog for a while, where I could share my thoughts, observations, and maybe inspire someone and give hope.

Every now and then, I would write something in my Google Keep, and just keep it in there….

“What if what I write does not interest anyone?”
“What if I run out of ideas?”
“What if I’m not consistent with a clear marketing message?”
“What if I have grammar mistakes?”

So many “What-ifs” that stopped me from just starting…

And so, as I close another decade, I think it’s a good time to just start.
Allow myself to be vulnerable and brave, and just be myself. Not sure when will be my next blog post, but hopefully, I’ll be braver in time.

New decade, new opportunity

So, today, on Dec. 31, 2019, as we reach the end of the decade, I dedicate my first blog post to reflect back on where I was 10 years ago.

Apparently, the end of 2009 has marked a turning point for me.

End of 2009...

At the end of 2009:

· I have just finished working for 10 years at an international French high-tech company, Dassault Systemes (DS), as a marketing manager. They reorganized the company and decided to close the Research & Development center in Israel, and the supporting functions along with it. It was an end of an era for me. So many memories; my personal development; travelling abroad as part of my role (managing product marketing, industry analyst relations, competitive intelligence, marketing programs); and working with people that I loved working with, are now part of the past.

· A couple of months before the final layoff, I was contacted by Microsoft for a position of a Product Marketing Manager. I had no connections in Microsoft and was flattered that they contacted me (through LinkedIn ��). Another bonus was that they were located only 5-minute drive away from my home (Yay!). After an intense 7-step recruitment process, I reached the final step of meeting the CEO/Managing Director. I was a good candidate, having a good work experience and an MBA, but one of the very few questions he had asked me was: “I see that you have a B.A. in Linguistics,” (with honors) “Why aren’t you an English teacher?” and concluded that he believes I’m not technical enough, not having a technical degree. And that was the end of it.

· A few months before the layoffs from DS, I was blessed to find out that I am pregnant with my third child and thought that it’s a good timing after all. But two days before Microsoft declined the job offer, and following me asking the Doctor, during the ultrasound of the early second trimester if he could already tell if it’s a boy or a girl, he responded with: “Can’t you see it’s dead? There’s no pulse.”

Shock...

You see, based on the experiences I've gained in the decade prior to 2009, I developed the belief that I can get whatever I set my mind and intention to. I got a degree that I wanted (with hard work), got the jobs that I wanted (after proving myself), even gave birth to my previous children during the weekend, as I wished for. All of the sudden, I realized, that there are some things that I have no control of, and I can’t always get what I hope for.

I was devastated. Now I don’t have a child, and don’t have a job.

Signs of hope

A religious lady that worked out at the gym with me, told me, after I shared my pregnancy loss with her:
“You know, God loves you. This child was not meant to be, and nature just did its best for you to have a healthy child and miscarry this one.” Not sure how much I believed in it at the time, but it was comforting in a way.

I then reminded myself that:

“ When you get to the bottom you go back to the top ” (Helter Skelter, The Beatles)
and that gave me some perspective of time.

Self-Care

I decided to take some time for myself and enjoy the unemployment rights that I’ve earned. I took the time to rest, heal, and enjoy French movies ��. I even declined a job interview for a marketing director position that I was called to by a friend. He told me he would offer this job to another colleague of mine, and I said: “Go ahead. I’m resting now”.

Timing is everything

Four months later, well into my resting period, in 2010, I called him, and asked if the position is still open. “Yes, it is”, he replied, and after being interviewed by the company owner and 3 managing directors, I got the job ��

Not all good lasts for long

But despite the nice title, and some interesting projects that I led, the work environment, turned to be a toxic one for me to be around. The owner/CEO used to shout at his top executives, and I didn’t want to witness that. (On my first day of work, he shouted in my presence, and as I was shaken from his behavior, I communicated that since he’s my direct boss, I ask him to speak to me without the need to shout. He actually respected that, and never shouted at me again.

Blessing

3 months into the job, I was pregnant. Having miscarried the previous pregnancy, I now appreciated it even more.

As I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy child, I decided to listen to my inner self, quit my job, raise my newborn, and be a stay-home mom for a while.

Another turning point

It was a scary decision for me, because I did not know where the future will lead me this time. I had a good job, secured income, and a job closed to home. I used to be afraid of the unknown, but I hoped that things will turn out well at the end. And I really enjoyed my motherhood. I quit the job.

Half a year into raising my newborn, I am wondering what the next thing would be for me.
A spiritual friend I had, said: “Send the question to the universe, and the answer will come.”

“What?” I asked. “What do you mean?”

For a month, as I strolled my baby carriage, I would look to the sky and whisper: “What would be the next thing that I’d do?” as I was waiting for something external to reveal it to me.

A moment of Gratitude

It was in a moment of sheer gratitude, as I was bonding with my baby during breast-feeding, that I felt so blessed for this moment, that I had a sense of knowing within me: “NLP and Guided Imagery”.

I didn’t know what it was about. The only experience that I’ve had around it was that a year and a half earlier, I was in a marketing conference, where one of the presentations was about NLP and business. I didn’t remember what it was about, only that it was interesting and that the “L” in “NLP” stands for “Linguistics”, and having an B.A degree in linguistics, I was fascinated by it.)

My Calling

All of the sudden, I felt that THIS IS MY CALLING.

I ran to check the Internet (not even sure if it was Google or not…), and saw that there is an introductory evening of NLP and Guided Imagery coming up in two days!!
I was so excited and energized, and felt that it was just in time for me.

As I was driving my car to the introductory evening, realizing that the studies stretch along 15 weeks of full days, I called my mother and mother-on-law, and asked: “Mom”, would you please be with my child in the mornings?”…”Mother-in-law, would you please be with him in the afternoon till night”?
I was so blessed, as they both agreed to help me.

And while I’m sitting fascinated in the introductory evening, another realization comes to mind. The studies are much more expensive than I anticipated. Remembering that we only have one salary to live by now, this may have been too much to ask for.

But it felt so right… Up until that point, I perceived myself as someone that has difficulty in decision-making, but I noticed this is not quite true. When things feel so right to me, I just know they are right for me, and don't have a problem to make a decision.

And so, I texted my husband the cost, and asked how he wants to pay for it.
My husband didn’t really know where I was heading that evening. He asked of the payment plan….and there I was: Signing up for my first NLP and Guided Imagery training.
Again, I felt so blessed that I could do that. Then continued to more advanced training, and opened my own practice.

A better version of me

With the tools I’ve experienced first-hand, I am a much better version of myself now.
My relationships with myself, my husband, parents, children, sisters and everyone that I meet have been improved and enriched with love and compassion.

I’ve been coping and responding to life events (that I have no control of) in an empowered way.

I am leading the parts that I am responsible for with more confidence.

And so much more, that I will probably share with some future blog posts.

It’s been a decade ever since my first training of NLP.

I have relocated with my family to California 5.5 years ago, and I am still in love with it.

I studied it all over again in English and am helping my English-speaking clients, as well as my Hebrew-Speaking clients to become an empowered version of themselves. I also teach and educate about the various applications of it with inspiring lectures and seminars.

Thank you and My Learnings

So, if you stayed until now, and read my first blog post, I thank you.

I would like to share some learnings from my last decade.

1. Let go of trying to control everything. Trust the universe that things will turn out well at the end, even if it doesn’t look so in one moment in time.

2. Nature has its cycles. We are part of nature. Sometimes we bloom, sometimes we hibernate. Just as a tree loses its leaves and looks naked, eventually, flowers will bloom, and fruits will ripe.

3. Everything reaches an end, including the bad moments.

4. Listen to your inner self. Take the time to listen carefully. Sometimes it may be a whisper.

5. Remember to self-care. Rest. Drink. Eat well. Sleep. Exercise

6. Our mind, body and spirit are deeply inter-connected. Give some love and attention to each part.

7. In every moment in time, you have a choice.

8. You are stronger than you think you are.

9. When you truly want something, and are willing to put your effort in, help will come in various ways.

10. Take control of your part of life.

There are so many more, but it’ll keep some for future posts ��

Happy 2020!

For 2020, I am excited to welcome the new year, and decade, with an open mind and heart to new possibilities, opportunities, experiences, friendships, business collaborations, and bringing good to the world.

I hope this post has brought some hope to anyone out there that needs it.

May you have a year of love, joy, health, inner-peace, happiness, and learnings.

With Love and gratitude,

Michal (Michelle)

My NLP Tools and Learnings

Unmasking Imposter Syndrome

All you need to know about Imposter Syndrome

Embracing Serenity for Wellbeing and Productivity in the Workspace

Benefits and Practical tips

A Salut to The Unsung Sheroes of Our Everyday Lives

On International Women's Day

Make Your Dreams Come True Day

Embrace Your Aspirations, Transform Your Life!

Give Thanks. Experience Blessings

Happy Thanksgiving

Time To Forgive

The Art of Forgiveness - A link to a Comprehensive Guide to letting go

Embracing Independence

Unleashing Your Inner Power for Fulfillment and Success

I'm on Fire! The Courage to Leap!

Trust your wisdom. Take action!

7 Simple Ideas for Self-Love

A Valentine's Day reminder for Self-Love & Self-Empowerment

Stuck in Groundhog Day?

Stuck in "Groundhog Day"?

Healing & Growth Book Launch ! 12/01/2022

Inspiring Stories for Massive Transformation

How Breathing Shapes Our Brain

There is more to breathing than you think

Give Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness

Let go and be free

Celebrating Women’s friendship on International Women’s Day

Cheers to Life in a Girls' Getaway

When I started Loving Myself

A Valentine's Day reminder to love yourself

Make a Change in 2022!

Are you Ready to make a change in 2022?

Wishing you a Happy 2022!

2021 is almost over. Welcome 2022!

The Secret to Happiness is Gratitude

Choose to be Grateful!

Unconditional Love Matters

Unconditional love raises sense of self-worth and can save lives

Be Who You Are

Stand in the light and be seen as you are

Trust the Universe. Look for the Gift in Disguise

Trust the Universe. Look for the Gift in Disguise

Trust Yourself! An inspiring story of my grandma.

You are stronger than you think you are. Always trust yourself!

Bye bye 2020, welcome 2021!

2020 in retrospect. New decisions for 2021

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving 2020. Time to practice Gratitude.

Seize the moment. Be Present. Be Grateful.

What a day trip to The Forest of Nisene Marks State Park has taught me.

When I'm feeling blue all I have to do is...

When I'm feeling blue all I have to do is get some vitamin sea :-)

Stress is on the Rise. Get tools to lower it down.

Stress is on the rise. Get Tools to lower it down.

Birthday in the midst of Corona. Now I’m really happy

Birthday in the midst of Corona. Now I’m really happy.

Class of 2020! Graduation during COVID-19

Alternatives for Graduation Ceremony - The L-E-A-R-N Model!

Guided Meditation for Relaxation & Immune System Boost

Guided Meditation for Relaxation & Immune System Boost for Corona Virus times and beyond

הדמייה לרגיעה וחיזוק מערכת החיסון

הדמייה לרגיעה וחיזוק מערכת החיסון - לימי קורונה ובכלל....

Morning Routine Under Corona Quarantine

7 steps to a healthy morning routine under quarantine

Sing along - Every little cell in my body is healthy and well

Simple tools for improved immune system - during Corona Virus Pandemic and everyday

COVID-19 - Corona Virus - What's it good for?

COVID 19- Corona Virus epidemic. An opportunity for change.

A New Year, New Habits

How did I make a difference in my patterns + 7-step strategy to making a change.

What I've learned in the past decade

Welcome to my first blog post...

My very first blog

New decade, new opportunity

End of 2009...

Shock...

Signs of hope

Self-Care

Timing is everything

Guided Meditation for Relaxation & Immune System Boost
for Corona Virus times and beyond